I am talking specifically about orgasm. Not the experience that many women think they have simply from having sex with a man but a real orgasm.

My point is that men do not orgasm by NOT touching their genitals. Also, much more importantly, men do NOT orgasm by thinking about mushy loving emotions.

Men have to think about something fairly gutsy, crude, sexual, erotic – as evidenced by male pornography. The problem is that many people assume that female orgasm revolves around women’s loving emotions. The Snow White syndrome…

My point is that since women use sexual fantasies during masturbation, they are likely to need to use something similar during sex. Men have the advantage of becoming sexually aroused (so that genital stimulation leads easily to orgasm) through the sight/touch of a lover’s body.

Women do not have the same advantage so they have to use some other mechanism for arousal during sex. This is not about attitude but about understanding what causes female arousal (the kind that leads to orgasm through genital stimulation).

Many women say that they ‘enjoy’ sex but they never explore their own sexual arousal through masturbation and are shocked by any form of eroticism. I am asking how a person can achieve sexual arousal without their mind being focused on erotic thoughts. It’s not possible — as men should know. The trouble is that men’s minds focus much more naturally and frequently on erotic thoughts so they assume that women’s minds work the same way.