The suggestion is that for the perfect sex life a woman just needs to find the right man: usually a loving and considerate partner, who will, of course, know how to give her an orgasm.
Self-evidently a woman needs a considerate lover if intercourse is to be a love-making act otherwise it is simply rape. A loving partner may cause a woman to be AMENABLE to intercourse but women cannot ORGASM from loving emotions any more than men can.
Orgasm involves a release of sexual emotions (through an appreciation of eroticism and explicitly sexual concepts) not romantic emotions. Romance may be an excellent lead in to sex but it cannot cause orgasm even in women.
Minor details are glossed over: such as the FACT that since the vagina, as part of the birth canal, has few nerve endings women typically are aware of little sensation from penile thrusting. Equally no one worries about the FACT that most women need direct clitoral stimulation for orgasm and the clitoris is only stimulated indirectly during vaginal intercourse.
Never mind. A man’s fantasy of providing female sexual pleasure remains intact. Through intercourse a man can enjoy his partner’s breasts and mouth while stimulating his penis.
Dream on…
Men are not alone in misunderstanding female sexuality. Dismissing Shere Hite’s detailed conclusions about how women learn to orgasm, one woman said “Now we’re being told how we should orgasm, holy shi-! It’s much easier than the babble of a therapist: find a man who KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING!”
Sometimes people imply that an experienced male lover knows how to use positions and techniques for sexual intercourse. They are obviously unaware that, no matter how inventive the position, the experts concluded in the 1970s that the INDIRECT stimulation of the clitoris during intercourse is insufficient to allow most women to orgasm.
A man can provide the additional DIRECT clitoral stimulation that a woman needs for orgasm by hand or mouth. Anyone who has tried this will know that such techniques do not guarantee orgasm for every woman. It may be better if the woman provides her own clitoral stimulation during sex and many experts suggest this as if it will GUARANTEE an orgasm.
No man can orgasm without first having an erection and when was the last time you saw a woman with an erection (of the clitoris)? That’s why women have difficulty with orgasm. Women certainly do not become aroused enough for orgasm simply by looking at the naked male body. If they did, sales of porn for women would presumably equal that sold to men on a daily basis.
If a woman cannot give herself an orgasm then it is unlikely that someone else will be able to. Sexual arousal originates in the brain and no man, whatever physical stimulation techniques he uses, can control what happens inside a woman’s head.
Many women assume that female orgasm arises from softer (sexually implicit) images of love and romance rather than from the cruder (sexually explicit) images that lead to male orgasm. Shere Hite referred to women’s experience of heightened arousal as ‘emotional orgasms’ to differentiate them from real female orgasms. Perhaps the term ‘emotional orgasm’ is unhelpful. Another way to differentiate between women’s experience of orgasm is to ask about the impact of the relationship.
“In some cases, it was not even clear to the woman herself whether there had been an orgasm or merely high levels of arousal.” (p199 The Hite Report 1976)
A woman who enjoys orgasm through masturbation can enjoy orgasm quite separately from her relationship because her sexual psychology is driven through sexual fantasies. Each of these experiences is no better than the other but simply different.
Even during female masturbation, clitoral stimulation is only effective once a woman is aroused enough for orgasm through the use of sexual fantasies. It is rarely acknowledged that women use sexual fantasies during sex. Unfortunately the complex psychological nature of many women’s fantasies makes them unsuitable for use with a partner.
I know this is anectdotal, but I’m speaking from experience. I’ve made love to three women during my lifetime. I’ve been married 22 years and have had no affairs. My wife is consistently orgasmic. They are obviously not faked. She can’t fake the cries, the involuntary movements, the demands for more stimulation, and everything else that goes with orgasm.
I’ve offered oral and manual stimulation. She rejects oral because she considers it unhygeinic and a short cut for those who lack skills to do it the regular way. She demands my penis as soon as I have an erection. She orgasms through penile thrusting.
I don’t take credit for her orgasm. She obviously puts a lot of energy into getting them, but once they start coming, she just gives into her feelings. From that point forward, continued thrusting simply heightens her sensations. She demands more thrusting. She says the experience is invigorating.
When I lost my virginity to an older, more experienced woman, she eagerly guided my penis into her. I thrust gently in and out. Long before I had an urge to ejaculate, she had an orgasm, apologizing that she couldn’t wait. After a shower, we made love a second time. While lying there after it was over, she expressed amazement that I was able to hold out so long and disbelief that I had been a virgin. She told me she liked it when I went deep and she described my lovemaking style as “gentle but firm.” She obviously enjoyed my penis and got three orgasms from penile thrusting alone.
Several years later another woman begged me to make love to her and I did. She wanted my penis inside of her. I didn’t give her an orgasm the first time, but she would call me on a regular basis to tempt me. We would go swimming in her sister’s pool. She would turn off the pool lights and swim in the nude. She told me once that her body ached for mine. She wanted a penis inside of her.
I admit I have not had as much variety as a lot of men have had, but the women with whom I have had sex have demanded a penis. Judging from the intensity of their orgasms, they’ve been very satisfied and would have it no other way. My wife tells me she lets me caress her to orgasm with my fingers only for my enjoyment. She prefers an orgasm with my penis.
Men often tell me that they are sure that ALL the women they sleep with orgasm during sex. But that’s kind of what faking orgasm is about, isn’t it? It if wasn’t convincing then what would be the point?
I have to wonder why you are interested in this subject? If everything works for you then that’s fantastic. I am not questioning that people have these experiences that read like erotic fiction.
I am interested in discussing any LOGICAL EXPLANATIONS for how women are supposed to achieve these orgasmic feats given the FACTS of female sexuality. Any man will know that genital stimulation only makes sense once you are sexually aroused (erect) but once you are aroused genital stimulation is definitely needed if you want to reach orgasm.
The FACT is that the vagina lacks sensitivity — the clitoris is the female sex organ. To come across even one woman who can feel sensations in a part of the body without nerve endings would be wierd but to come across three such women is positively suspicous.
Hi!
Haaaa! Wow! Scientifically proven and experimented.
What about frigidity, is it effective?
Thanks for the story. Great to know.
Regards,
rmang
good story love it!
excellent! glad someone broke this down.
Thanks for all the supportive comments!
There are so many myths surrounding female sexuality that it is almost impossible to find any advice that is based on the facts.
Female sexual arousal is much more obscure than male and does not arise from seeing the naked body of a partner. Otherwise women would buy porn too.
So female orgasm is much more difficult to achieve during sex with a partner than is ever acknowledged. This is not men’s fault or women’s fault but simply the way Nature intended it to be.