In the novelty of a new sexual rela­tion­ship, I have explored a variety of sexual activ­ities with a partner. So, in addi­tion to vaginal inter­course missionary style, in the early days we tried oral sex, manual clit­oral stim­u­la­tion and different posi­tions for intercourse.

I enjoyed the role of the pros­ti­tute, giving pleasure to my man, but I never exper­i­enced the sexual arousal required for orgasm. The sensa­tions from oral sex were too vague and my clit­oris was too sens­itive for my partner to be able to stim­u­late me manually.

For many years, our sex life settled into the usual marital rut of nothing more than vaginal inter­course to male orgasm. It was the easiest way to provide my partner with some sexual relief and involved me in minimal sexual effort (we always had to use a lubricant).

Once we had chil­dren, we would occa­sion­ally get away for week­ends. These oppor­tun­ities, plus holi­days (with child­care) where we had more time for sex, meant that my partner could stim­u­late my clit­oris (never to orgasm) during rear-entry intercourse.

I took the contra­ceptive pill from the age of eighteen until my partner had a vasec­tomy after the birth of our third child. Around this time, approx­im­ately aged 35, I found that vaginal inter­course became much more comfort­able and natur­ally lubricated.

I’ll never know whether this effect was age related or the result of coming off the pill. I found that from time to time my body felt more sensual and aroused. As a young woman I was never aware of any sense of phys­ical arousal. But now my mind tunes into erot­i­cism more consciously and I am aware of having an erec­tion of the internal clit­oral organ.

Naugh­tier than vaginal intercourse

When I am feeling aroused, I look forward to sex sessions with my partner. Some­times we watch a porn movie in the living room. We put a water­proof sheet and large towel over the ottoman. I kneel down and bend over the ottoman.

My partner sits behind me with a good view up between my legs. He has control of the baby oil and lube. While we are watching the movie he penet­rates me from behind with fingers and penis. I fast forward to the bits of the movie that I like.

Other times we have sex on the bed. As always, we use a water­proof sheet, large towel and lots of lube. We keep a bag of sex toys.

I like the lights low so that I can focus fully on the sensa­tions of my partner stroking me. I usually lie on my front while he stim­u­lates me from behind.

He starts with toys or fingers but ends with penis penet­ra­tion, stim­u­lating my clit­oris throughout. Admit­tedly a man needs to be a bit of an octopus to do all of this simul­tan­eously but prac­tice helps!

Depending on my levels of arousal, I feel different sensa­tions from sex with a partner. Basic­ally the more turned on I am from the start the better the feelings.

Vaginal fisting where my partner penet­rates my vagina with the fingers of one hand can give me amazing feel­ings. When his fingers thrust gently back­wards and forwards, I feel quite over­whelmed with waves of phys­ical arousal.

Anal sex, starting with finger penet­ra­tion, but usually ending with penile penet­ra­tion has always been arousing for me. Some­times we start a sex session with a shower and my partner gives me an enema.

It’s vital to take things slowly and start with finger penet­ra­tion. This is the diffi­cult part for a man. You need to be ready to stop if your partner is not enjoying it. It is coun­ter­pro­ductive for the woman to be the martyr here. Keep it fun and arousing!