Ways Women Orgasm

How women enjoy eroticism through sex stories

Most hetero­sexual women do not masturbate. They also do not find the concepts of erot­i­cism or fantasy that appealing. So who reads all the feminine erotica out there?

Presum­ably some lesbian women masturbate and read erotica. In fact, female masturb­a­tion and clit­oral stim­u­la­tion are often asso­ci­ated with lesbi­anism. Perhaps this is why so much female erotica focuses on women’s bodies and sex between women.

No offence to lesbian or bisexual women but I am straight. I like male body parts, male psyche and sexual acts involving men. The woman is incid­ental. I enjoy homo­sexual erotica because I imagine myself on the receiving end of fellatio or anal sex, for example.

Erotica written for women often includes humi­li­ation, domin­a­tion and sadism. The titles of women’s sex stories abound with words such as: slave, chains, torture, bound, obey, submis­sion. Do women asso­ciate sex with feeling ‘dirty’ or guilty about their sexual urges?

“Men have rape and domin­a­tion fantasies. Women have fantasies about BEING raped and domin­ated.” (p84 Woman’s Exper­i­ence of Sex)

I like the whole­hearted enthu­siasm for sex that is portrayed in homo­sexual erotica. There is no virginal reluct­ance or demure disgust. People just enjoy the erot­i­cism of sexual activity without anyone being forced into anything against their will (not always but mostly).

I admit that domin­a­tion can be arousing. Given there is so much out there I have read my share. One book of sex stories involved a series of sadistic scen­arios and frankly I was quite relieved when I even­tu­ally tired of the never-ending pain. My conclu­sion is that the concept of sadism may get me going but, for me at least, it does not cause orgasm.

It was a revel­a­tion to me that, unlike porno­graphy, erotica is not intended solely for the purposes of causing sexual arousal. Perhaps this explains why I often struggle to find sex stories for women that can assist with orgasm. I have to wonder though… what else does anyone read this stuff for?

Men might feel embar­rassed (or they might not!) as they head off to buy their porno­graphic magazines. Their regular need to release sexual frus­tra­tion through orgasm is such that men do not have the luxury of deciding to be ‘pure’.

Many women are happy with inter­preting their sexual rela­tion­ship in terms of emotional criteria. They never feel that some­thing is missing from their lives. However, women who learn how to masturbate defin­itely do notice that orgasm is missing from sex.

“Most women do not orgasm as a result of inter­course per se. The over­whelming majority of women require specific clit­oral contact for orgasm.” (p29 The Hite Reports 1993)

Shere Hite was phenom­enal but sadly few women relate to her find­ings. This is because most women approach sex through their rela­tion­ship with their lover. They have no concept of enjoying their own sexual arousal through clit­oral stim­u­la­tion. Equally they have never discovered the pleas­ures of sexual fantasies.

I read Hite when I was twenty and I under­stood that clit­oral stim­u­la­tion was crit­ical to female orgasm from masturb­a­tion. However, clit­oral stim­u­la­tion never seemed to help with my sexual arousal during sex with my partner. The fact is that even during female masturb­a­tion, clit­oral stim­u­la­tion only leads to orgasm when it is combined with the use of sexual fantasies.

Men have a fairly natural trans­ition from masturb­a­tion to sex because they use images of naked women for arousal. Women do not use images of naked men during masturb­a­tion so it is more diffi­cult for them to transfer their orgasm tech­niques including their use of sexual fantasies to sex with a partner.

Excerpt from Jane’s book Ways Women Orgasm (2011)

2 comments for “How women enjoy eroticism through sex stories

  1. im_ready
    January 13, 2015 at 6:13 pm

    I only read two stories on the site, literotic.com, but I was not impressed. They were stories of men controlling women, one from the woman’s preceptive and one from the man’s. I liked the man’s preceptive better, but they moved along too quickly and before I was 5 short para­graphs down she was having an orgasm, which was discour­aging to me since I wasn’t feeling much. Bedtime in my time zone though. If anybody has other sites with more detail and longer tension build up to female orgasm let me know!

    –I’m ready

  2. Jane
    January 13, 2015 at 8:43 pm

    A UK women’s sex magazine Scarlet.co.uk provides a forum for user blogs that include erotic stories you might want to take a look at.

    The US Babeland.com also has good sections offering reviews of adult DVDs and Sex books. Of course, if you go to a good/large sex shop you should find a collec­tion of erotic literature.

    Inev­it­ably, anything that is avail­able for free is likely to be of a lower quality than when you have to pay e.g. books versus on-line. Much on-line erotica is likely to be amateur but then the quality is very vari­able in any case and so much is down to personal taste.

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