Thanks for your support! I am currently working on publicising Ways Women Orgasm so please recommend the site to your friends. Also if you can make even the tiniest positive comment on this page or the ‘Theme for today’ I will be your fan!

This page is dedicated to members only for sharing ideas on how women can enjoy their own sexual arousal by bringing more variety to sex. The focus is on how women can get more out of their sexual relationships with men.

Topics include:

• details of erotic stories (title, author & publisher) that women have found arousing enough for orgasm;
• porn movies (title, director & where to buy from) to share together as a couple that include fantasy scenarios for women;
• details of specific sex toys (where to buy) for women to enjoy during sex with a partner;
• positions for vaginal intercourse that allow for female orgasm (both hands-on and hands-off the clitoris);
• details of sexual activities other than vaginal intercourse that women have found arousing enough for orgasm; and
• any other activities such as massage, spanking etc. that women find increase their sexual arousal.

Ways Women Orgasm – the sexuality forum where female orgasm matters

Let’s face it, very few couples are lucky enough to have a sexual relationship where they can talk openly about female sexual arousal and orgasm. Ways Women Orgasm is for couples who are looking for ways to improve on what they already have.

If you are a woman who is keen to learn how to masturbate then take a look at my articles How a woman can learn how to masturbate and How to enjoy your sexual fantasies.

If you are a woman who can masturbate to orgasm but struggles with orgasm during sex, you may be reassured to read: Men hope a lover will enhance their sexual arousal, Women who fake orgasm and How we enjoy our best orgasms.

If you are interested in the conclusions of the experts about how women reach orgasm with a partner then read my articles: How to orgasm, Orgasm techniques women use to reach orgasm and Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse.

If you have tried every PHYSICAL stimulation technique in the book then read my articles about women’s PSYCHOLOGICAL sexual arousal: Clitoral stimulation is not everything and Women’s sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies.

It takes trust and practice to explore some of the naughtier ideas for making the most of a sexual relationship, including anal sex and vaginal fisting. Take a look at Some women do explore sexual pleasure and How a woman can enjoy sex play.

Ultimately the aim is for Ways Women Orgasm to facilitate an open and constructive dialogue, covering questions or experiences from women and their partners, who are interested in understanding more about female sexuality. Please feel free to ask or share as you like…

10 Comments »

1. We always start a sex session with my partner stimulating me. We use a large towel and waterproof sheet on the bed as well as plenty of baby oil and Liquid Silk, which you can get from any decent sex shop. The book ‘The Big Bang: Nerve’s Guide to the Sexual Universe’ by Emma Taylor & Lorelei Sharkey is brilliant for removing some of the taboo of anal sex for women and for introducing some new techniques such as vaginal fisting.

   Comment by sam — July 12, 2009 @ 2:49 pm

2. One of my favourite erotic books is ‘Mixed Doubles’ by Zoe le Verdier. I like the scene where her boyfriend offers her body to an older man in the changing rooms. Also the scene at the end where they have anal sex.

   One of my favourite porn movies is ‘Erotic Stories’ by James Avalon (distributed by archel in the UK). I like the scene at the beginning where she is having sex with her husband and another man in a different room at the same time. Farcical but fun!

   Comment by sam — September 23, 2009 @ 8:21 am

3. Hi, Jane.
   I congratulate you on your open-ness and also on your stated efforts to find answers to your lack of orgasms in your vaginal sexual intercourse. I realise that your site is mainly aimed at women, especially those who do not easily achieve orgasm. However, there is some worthwhile reading here for many men too.

   You have posted a lot of information here on your site, some of which I totally agree with and some that I at least have doubts about. For instance, I personally have seen several women achieve what they ‘claimed’ was an orgasm without so much as once touching their clitoris or even their vulva. All they did was to run their hands slowly and sensually over various parts of their bodies, including their breasts and their bellies until they went into what appeared to be an orgasm. I have seen two who only massaged their breasts and nipples and ‘claimed’ to have an orgasm.

   I personally have massaged the area within the vagina that is commonly termed the G-spot for several women and they ‘claimed’ that they acheived orgasms from it.

   You have a wonderful day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.

   Comment by TantricMasseur — January 4, 2010 @ 6:51 pm

4. Thanks for your positive feedback.

   I think that books could certainly be written about how women CLAIM to orgasm! My challenge has been to discuss how women truly do orgasm (in a way that men would understand i.e. through genital stimulation). I wish as many women were open to discussing this topic as men are. Unfortunately, men do not have a woman’s body and so they cannot know how differently a woman responds. Women get hard-ons much less frequently, for example.

   My point is that men would not consider approaching orgasm without stimulating their genitals (and having a hard-on first). Many men dislike using a condom precisely because of the reduced genital stimulation. Why would anyone NOT want to stimulate their genitals since this is how both sexes reach orgasm? The explanation is that women are rarely aroused enough for genital stimulation to lead to orgasm.

   Women do not become aroused as easily as men do. I agree with John Gray that men are much MUCH more sexual than women both physiologically and biologically. The only way I have been able to achieve sufficient sexual arousal for orgasm is through the use of highly focused sexual fantasy. Most women I talk to are shocked by any form of eroticism so it’s not clear how they ever get turned on enough for orgasm.

   The vagina has very few never endings (since it is part of the birth canal) and so it is no failure for a woman to have little sensation from intercourse. The phenomenon you are describing is one where women are enjoying the touch and feel of their own body but this does not lead to female orgasm any more than it would for a man if he did the exact same thing. Women use such sexual teasing techniques as a male turn-on.

   I have not found a woman yet who is able to explain these claims of orgasm without genital stimulation. As a man, you should know that orgasms don’t just happen. You also have to focus on erotic thoughts or emotions and many women do not understand this. They enjoy sensuality and loving emotions but not the crude sexual urges that lead to a true orgasm.

   If you ever meet a woman who is interested in explaining how these non-genital orgasm work, please ask her to contact me. I have talked to a few such women and they say it all happens ‘magically’ and without any particular mental focus on eroticism – simply loving emotions. Since they never masturbate they really have no idea what an orgasm feels like.

   Comment by Jane — January 4, 2010 @ 7:03 pm

5. After quite sometime of having uneducated sex (to much of as well in my opinion now) my mother took me to get my first pap smear to test for STDs. By the unbelievable odds, I did not have an std, however many other “problems” arose. Because the significant amount of sex I was having at the time, I was very curious to why I wasn’t able to orgasm. I did not ask my doctor at the time though about my curiosity due to feeling uncomfortable and insecure because of judgmental vibes I felt from her because of my number of sex partners in comparison to my age. Also at that time I was also curious about a “wall” I was feeling inside my vagina while masturbation. The “wall” issue was brought up after the pap smear was finished. Turns out my “wall” issue was a before birth defect of my internal (uterus, cervix, and vagina) not completely forming together. My doctor would have completely missed this issue if I had not brought it up; during the pap smear the speculum was only placed in one side of my two vaginal walls. This created such distraction for the next few months, that my curiosity of my orgasm went unacknowledged while I continued to have non-pleasurable sex. After the dust settle from the “wall issue”, I then found opportunity to ask my doctor (who, note, was my regular doctor and gynecologist) about my lack of having orgasms. Her response was that I had more priority matters to deal with (”the weight issue” discovered shortly after “wall issue”). It really made me feel like my sexual pleasure was not of importance (my weight was of greater importance) and that nothing was necessarily wrong. I felt maybe I was expecting to much out of sex which lead my next few years of sexual experience to focus on men and their pleasure. Even without feeling the love, or even a desire to be with them intimately. In my mind sex was a way for me to be noticed by someone, and had nothing to do with love, desire, or pleasure; most defiantly not my pleasure.

   But that is all to much negativity for me. I’d like to end this on a positive note.

   This series of events did lead to darker things which in return leaves me now with a lot of neglected damage. However the story does get better. I did happen to stumble upon a person whom at the time, I had no idea of the significance their role would play in my life. I met my boyfriend on craiglist personals; his ad was a height, weight, and that he was a smoker and was looking for someone at least tolerant of it. I was desperate for a chance at change (whether negative or positive), so emailed him demanding that there had to be more to a person that an height , weight, and bad habit. We instantly connected, and as I sit here not to terribly long after that bored email I sent late one night, I am changed for the better. He has helped me realize great self confidence. Although he has helped me many more ways than sexually, making me feel “sexy” (very positive word in our vocab) for the first time sincerely, was the first step I needed to push me in a direction of realizing my own sexual needs, desires, abilities. As I have been exploring this site tonight he has been eagerly texting me to hear more and offers the most support possible. As I know this adventure head of me of discovering my own orgasm is a very self directed progress, I still feel appreciative for the support, and offer to help (when necessary) from him.

   I’m ready, I’m ready to orgasm and from that accomplish so much more.
   Thanks WWO its only been more than a few hours since I stumbled upon this site, and I feel hope, happiness, excitement for what is ahead of me.

   -I’m ready

   Comment by im_ready — January 9, 2010 @ 11:19 am

6. Dear I’m ready,

   We can have sex for reproduction or for pleasure. Intercourse is only required if a couple wants a baby. Otherwise, for ’sex for pleasure’ pretty much anything goes as long as both people are OK with it.

   For a woman to experience orgasm, she needs clitoral stimulation just as a man needs to stimulate his penis. The diffculty for women is that sex does not provide the easiest environment for orgasm. Most women find orgasm via masturbation easier because sexual fantasies are ineffective with a partner.

   That said, it is possible to enjoy a wide variety of physical intimacy with a man including your own sexual arousal. Sex can be much more enjoyable if a woman does not set female orgasm as a goal but more realistically simply enjoys the sensual pleasures of sex.

   The challenge is for a man to be willing to invest effort in pleasuring a woman when his own orgasm is often so easily achieved. See my story ‘Pleasuring a Woman’ under Physical Intimacy.

   Some women are able to use their sexual fantasies during sex and also they ensure that they get the clitoral stimulation they need (either via masturbation during sex or by finding a position for intercourse that provides clitoral stimulation).

   Glad that you have found WWO useful. There’s a lot to take in and my hope is to encourage other women who have found ways of enjoying orgasm with a partner to come forward and be explicit about how they have achieved it.

   Comment by Jane — January 9, 2010 @ 3:57 pm

7. I only read two stories on the site, literotic.com, but I was not impressed. They were stories of men controlling women, one from the woman’s preceptive and one from the man’s. I liked the man’s preceptive better, but they moved along too quickly and before I was 5 short paragraphs down she was having an orgasm, which was discouraging to me since I wasn’t feeling much. Bedtime in my time zone though. If anybody has other sites with more detail and longer tension build up to female orgasm let me know!

   -I’m ready

   Comment by im_ready — January 11, 2010 @ 9:06 am

8. A UK women’s sex magazine Scarlet.co.uk provides a forum for user blogs that include erotic stories you might want to take a look at.

   The US Babeland.com also has good sections offering reviews of adult DVDs and Sex books. Of course, if you go to a good/large sex shop you should find a collection of erotic literature.

   Inevitably, anything that is available for free is likely to be of a lower quality than when you have to pay e.g. books versus on-line. Much on-line erotica is likely to be amateur but then the quality is very variable in any case and so much is down to personal taste.

   Comment by Jane — January 11, 2010 @ 10:42 am

9. Well lets see…i guess an intro is probably a good place to start, im a young MAN and im here to learn more about female sexuality and what i can personally do to help my partner achieve arousal and maybe someday an orgasm. ive read a little of your site Jane and it seems very well informed, a good guide for both women and men alike…i dont have alot else to say right now but ill check back in periodically as time goes on, keep up the good work Jane, and hello to all you others out there.

   Comment by Alive With Illusions — January 25, 2010 @ 7:13 am

10. Welcome to WWO! It’s great to have such enthusiasm. It sounds as if you have a good foundation for sex. Your partner must feel secure about herself and your love for her if she can be honest about her lack of arousal/orgasm (which after all is quite normal for a woman).

    Remember that a man cannot be responsible for his partner’s arousal or orgasm. That’s up to her. I hope you find the stories useful – there are 120 in total. Each one cycles as the theme of the day once every four months. This means that each gets a special focus every few months.

    My ambition is to build a small forum of regular visitors and contributors (50-100 a day currently). Men and women who are committed to sharing ideas on getting more out of sex, always from a woman’s perspective (but with the assumption that a man also gets some fun along the way!).

    I have a zero budget (pretty much) as this is a hobby for me and earns zero revenue (that’s an exact figure!). So marketing is limited to all the free options which takes time and committment. I have both so WWO will one day be what it aims to be now: a focus on the web for informed and considerate discussion of how couples can enjoy their intimate time together.

    Thanks for your comment and please let me know any questions you have.

    Comment by Jane — January 25, 2010 @ 9:22 pm

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