Ways Women Orgasm

Member Forum

Welcome to the Members’ Forum! This page is dedicated to members only for sharing ideas on how women can get more out of their sexual relationships with men. Please show your support by leaving a positive comment.

Let’s face it, very few couples are lucky enough to have a sexual relationship where they can talk openly about female sexual arousal and orgasm. Ways Women Orgasm is for couples who are looking for ways to improve on what they already have.

If you are in a long-term sexual relationship of any kind then you are probably unusual. If you have moved beyond missionary style intercourse and can discuss more general pleasuring as a couple then you are almost certainly exceptional.

I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. Ways Women Orgasm PROVOKES debate by offering a DIFFERENT view to other sources. Tell me if you disagree but please provide a reasoned explanation that tallies with the facts of women’s sexuality, together with supporting evidence either from women’s real life experiences or from the published conclusions of the experts.

If you have not found any answers elsewhere you may find my more logical presentation helpful. If not, then no harm done. Women should feel free to share their experiences whatever they are. At the end of the day much of what is said about sex is purely opinion. If we are to find a common basis for discussion, we have to first find other people who share our own opinions.

Ultimately the aim is for Ways Women Orgasm to facilitate an open and constructive dialogue, covering questions or experiences from women and their partners, who are interested in understanding more about female sexuality.

Please feel free to ask or share as you like…

Ways Women Orgasm – the sexuality forum where female orgasm matters

There is a scene in the film ‘The Chicken Run’ (2000) where Ginger, our hero, returns from solitary confinement after her umpteenth escape failure. Another chicken tentatively suggests that, since the chances of them breaking out of the chicken farm are evidently ‘a million to one against’, perhaps Ginger should consider giving up on her dream.

A demoralised Ginger pauses to reflect for a moment and then quietly but resolutely, replies: ‘Then there’s still a chance!’ What a girl! At times, my experience of trying to bring more realism to modern day sex information has felt a little like the prospect of escaping from a concentration camp: so impossible that it has seemed futile even to try.

If you are a woman who is keen to learn how to masturbate then take a look at my stories How a woman can learn to masturbate and How to enjoy your sexual fantasies.

If you are a woman who can masturbate to orgasm but struggles with orgasm during sex, you may be reassured to read: Men hope a lover will enhance their sexual arousal, Women who fake orgasm and How we enjoy our best orgasms.

If you are interested in the conclusions of the experts about how women reach orgasm with a partner then read my stories: How to orgasm, Techniques women use to reach orgasm and Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse.

If you have tried every PHYSICAL stimulation technique in the book then read my stories about women’s PSYCHOLOGICAL sexual arousal: Clitoral stimulation is not everything and Women’s sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies.

It takes trust and practice to explore some of the naughtier ideas for making the most of a sexual relationship, including anal sex and vaginal fisting. Take a look at Some women do explore sexual pleasure and How a woman can enjoy sex play.

Ways Women Orgasm is not offering specialist advice about sexual problems. Lack of female orgasm during sex is rarely a dysfunction. It is simply a normal state of affairs for any woman who realises that something is missing from sex. Unless diagnosed with a specific medical condition, every woman can assume that she and her sexual experiences are quite normal.

37 comments for “Member Forum

  1. katebee
    January 26, 2017 at 10:15 pm

    Jane, I found your site to be very interesting and it was nice to find a site that is genuinely trying to help women with honest imformation and with no hidden agenda. Its about the only one on the web I think. I have been doing alot of research over the past year on women and orgasm and there is quite a bewildering amount of imformation out there.

    I would love to share my experiences to help other women and have been thinking about posting on your site but I don’t know if I am quite ready to do that just yet 🙂 I think you are very brave for doing so.

    Cathy

  2. Nathaniel Hines
    January 29, 2017 at 7:15 am

    Interesting to hear your perspective. With similar experiences, I applaud your efforts to inform.

  3. Richard McNally
    February 2, 2017 at 8:26 am

    Hi Jane, What you’re doing in being open, or “transparent” as they say these days, is important because as you well know a screwed-up sex life can ruin everything. Freud says a person’s sex life is a microcosm of their life as a whole.

    Two t-shirts I’ve seen: one on a young girl–“I LOVE FEMALE ORGASM” which really made me do a double take, and anther on a youngish guy: “ORGASM DONOR.”

    BEST, Rick

  4. Jane
    February 2, 2017 at 10:03 am

    Rick, Thanks for your support.

    As you say, I am speaking up for the silent majority. Unfortunately, a tiny minority of people usually with a political agenda manage to intimidate the rest of us into silence.

    No longer I hope – but a long, slow battle against ignorance and prejudice.

  5. Joannah Kownacki
    February 10, 2017 at 11:51 am

    I’ve enjoyed reading your website and agree with just about everything you’ve written. Which is really nice and reassuring, so the fact I’ve never had an orgasm during penetration isn’t so weird and it’s a relief to know I can stop looking for that damm G-spot!

    Despite self knowledge and many attempts in different positions with his help/my help stimulating my clitoris, I have never come with my partner inside me, although I have been close. I think maybe with practise I could get there, it’s just hard to have your mind free and unfocussed while someone is inside you.

    Now I am single, and back to masturbating regularly I am thinking of buying a dildo and trying to ‘train myself’ to be able to come with it inside me while also stimulating the clitoris. If I can be bothered. It’s pretty funny really that guys think this all comes naturally to girls. Even with a pretty open mind it takes considerable effort.

  6. Jane
    February 10, 2017 at 1:27 pm

    Joannah, let me know a little about yourself. It would be good to compare notes. I need to be sure that people posting are genuine (that they are not male!). I only include comments that I think come from real women who can back up their experiences with detailed explanations.

  7. Yumi Schleifer
    February 15, 2017 at 8:41 am

    Hello, Wanted you to know that I have enjoyed reading the excerpts of your book on Linkedin. I found your material interesting, perceptive, informative, and well written. Yumi, Washington D.C

  8. Jane
    February 15, 2017 at 9:33 am

    Thanks Yumi so much for your support!

  9. SyedRiffatAli
    February 22, 2017 at 4:11 pm

    Hi Jane , i am male , but i like your stories always .. i am sure you have Highist Degree ( PHD ) in this field.

  10. Jane
    February 22, 2017 at 5:52 pm

    Thanks – you’re very kind!

    It’s difficult to get women talking about sex…

  11. Martha Britton
    February 23, 2017 at 4:08 pm

    I enjoyed your article so much, I think that all women should be honest and vocal with their partner on what feels good and what doesn’t.

  12. Rachel
    February 27, 2017 at 10:21 pm

    I would also be very interested to hear other women’s stories

    I myself, have never had an orgasm through intercourse (penetration) alone. I discovered my first orgasm when I about 15yrs old (Iam now 32). I read a story in a Dolly magazine about a girl who placed her vagina over the jets of a spa, I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into but tried it one day when alone in a friends spa bath and low and behold i was blown away!!!

    I tried penetration with sex toys a lot but it never gave me any satisfaction, clitoral stimulation is what worked for me and I could orgasm every time. As I got older however, it is not as easy as it was before. I like to watch porn and read penthouse stories to get me going and YES fantasy plays a big part in it.

    I experimented sexually with quite a few men when I was younger (under 28), we are painted this wonderful picture of sex through the media that it is always mind blowing and I couldnt understand why it wasnt for me. I questioned myself and I also questioned the mans ability. I experimented with women and also men and women at the same time. I made some of my fantasies reality but I must say that when I look back on all of it, 90% of the time I could have done a better job on my own.

    I guess I too am on a journey to discover, and this has been my introduction, I am keen to keep this discussion going so please add or ask a question.

  13. Jane
    February 27, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    Hi Rachel,

    I am interested in women’s experience of orgasms that arise without any psychological input. I have not personally found these particularly satisfying. Do you find a difference when you use fantasy?

    I am particularly interested in how women’s psychological arousal works because, although men experience spontaneous arousal (beyond their conscious control), it seems less likely that women will. This is because we do not have such high levels of testosterone and also we are not aroused as men are by the naked body of a lover.

    Are your fantasies based on simple scenarios or more complex psychology e.g. BDSM?

  14. Sonia5
    February 28, 2017 at 8:46 am

    Hello,
    I’m new in this forum but i hope I’ll get lot of things to enjoy.

  15. Jane
    February 28, 2017 at 10:20 am

    Welcome – please make as many comments as you can!

  16. Gwen
    March 1, 2017 at 9:51 pm

    Your site has a lot of helpful information to help women feel more comfortable with their sexuality. I applaud your efforts.

  17. Jane
    March 1, 2017 at 10:49 pm

    Thanks for your support!

  18. March 4, 2017 at 8:37 am

    Very valid article – I really appreciated reading it.

  19. Minnie
    March 6, 2017 at 3:13 pm

    Hi i’m 18 and find your site very interesting and informative… one of my friends was telling me how her boyfriend was fingering her down below when they had sex. she said it hurt a lot and so she was sure it must be the wrong thing to do… none of my friends had even heard of the clitoris I had to to tell them where it was! 🙂 Mx

  20. Jane
    March 6, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    Hi, thanks for leaving a comment.

    I find it amazing that young women today still have so little knowledge of their own sexual anatomy. Unfortunately young men’s sex education comes from pornography, which shows women being stimulated as if they had male genitals. The clitoris is highly sensitive to touch and most women prefer to stimulate themselves during sex.

    Your friend has evidently not discovered masturbation yet, which is the easiest way for a woman to discover orgasm. Her boyfriend means well but should focus on more general sensual (rather than genital) pleasuring at this stage. A woman needs to discover how her own arousal works before she can share it with a partner.

    Relatively few women learn how to masturbate and if they do it tends to be in their twenties/thirties or later. Even so, it is much more difficult for a woman to share her orgasm with a partner than erotica and pornography would lead us to believe.

    Sex should never be painful for anyone. If it hurts then don’t do it! Genital stimulation only leads to orgasm once a person is sexually aroused. During masturbation women use sexual fantasies but these are difficult to use during sex with a partner.

  21. Maria Thomas
    March 8, 2017 at 9:43 pm

    Hello! Thought it was about time I became a member – I have often read your articles and find them to be completely true and written in a way that is also interesting to read! Thanks 😀 😉 xx

  22. Jane
    March 8, 2017 at 11:38 pm

    Thanks Maria – that’s very kind of you! Glad you enjoy my blog and please comment as much as you can. Very few women are willing to say anything about sex. So even a general comment is better than none!

  23. heather_r
    March 10, 2017 at 2:53 am

    I am new to this site and very glad to have run upon it and to have joined it.I feel like that I’m gonna be learning alot here about orgasms,which I have been searching for forums like this where women talk openly about their orgasms.I am hoping that I will be help here from other women here as well.

    • Jane
      March 10, 2017 at 7:38 am

      Welcome – please comment! So few women say anything about their experiences of sex and orgasm…

  24. Leo
    March 16, 2017 at 6:37 am

    your interest the women folk or not but you do excite me and they are all very very descriptive, and writing about your own experience exhilarates me and I am on a hard on when reading your article to be candid.

    I hope it does not offend you. We are grown ups with as much experience and you do me a great favor by writing such good items. i feel younger, thnx all the best keep up the good job

  25. Jane
    March 16, 2017 at 9:09 am

    Thanks Leo.

    My writing is not intentionally erotic – it’s intended to be educational. But I have no problem with you getting aroused.

  26. allergyann
    March 19, 2017 at 4:00 pm

    I am happy and surprised to have found your website from the cover story on Flipboard! There should be more awareness to this long forgotten topic of female sexuality. I ordered Shere Hite’s most recent release from her original report back in the 70s. As a young student nurse in the 70s I remember my instructor giving us the sex talk on how ” the male member enters the vaginal vault to produce pregnancy” THAT WAS IT! We all wonder what else there was but until the Hite report came out a few years later, we didn’t know.

    Thank you for creating a site where both women and men can learn and share experiences about the most basic of human needs.

  27. Jane
    March 19, 2017 at 6:34 pm

    Hi, Thanks for your great comment!

    I didn’t realise that Flipboard had picked up on my site. It’s a very slow process of educating people that women’s sexuality involves more than responding to men’s desire for intercourse.

    Women’s orgasmic ability is not very intuitive because it has nothing to do with reproduction.
    Please pass on the word to anyone you think can benefit!

  28. Jerry W.
    March 20, 2017 at 8:18 am

    I can tell you love your job. If you ever need a volunteer for research let me know.

    …wow so you must be great in bed! Do you think size matters?

  29. Jane
    March 20, 2017 at 10:16 am

    Thanks Jerry! Actually I don’t make any money so I’m not sure it’s a job as such. More of a passionate hobby. Unfortunately research is not as interesting as it sounds. Of course a researcher must have some practical experience… but what is much more important is that they can differentiate between fact and fiction. Most people can’t…

    Size matters primarily to men. Women want affection and sensual touching. Intercourse provides very little sensation. Also listen to her … Women like to talk and feel that someone cares…

  30. Jerry W.
    March 20, 2017 at 3:04 pm

    You don’t know how hard that is for a man to do. 🙂

  31. Jane
    March 20, 2017 at 4:55 pm

    Women are not especially interested in sex either but they feign interest to please their partner. You can do the same but usually women want to talk for longer than men are able to provide intercourse! In bed women enjoy being admired and caressed. Relaxing massage and other non-sexual touching compensates for the lack of arousal to some extent. Men are bored by such things but this is why women don’t want sex. Because it involves investing in someone else’s pleasure with no payback for yourself. Hope this helps…

  32. Jerry W.
    March 20, 2017 at 6:46 pm

    why yes it does…and it make sense. So you’re suggesting men should admire, talk, and caress a woman to truly please her? Interesting…but wait there are some exceptions to this right? I mean what about the woman that craves a big penis or want a guy who can go for hours and hours – What category do they fall under?

  33. Jane
    March 20, 2017 at 7:27 pm

    Pornography…

  34. Jerry W.
    March 20, 2017 at 8:07 pm

    hahahahahahahaha!!! Gotcha.

  35. Jonny A.
    March 24, 2017 at 8:29 pm

    I was giving oral sex to a woman. She kept burying my head in her vulva. Could she have been faking her pleasure?

  36. Jane Thomas
    March 24, 2017 at 10:23 pm

    Women enjoy various pleasures from sex but orgasm is a very specific response to eroticism. Men often claim to give women orgasms but women themselves rarely talk about cunnilingus or other explicit sexual pleasuring. They talk mostly of love & their relationship.

    A handful of women boast about orgasm but even they are focused on their own ego rather than the enjoyment of sexual pleasure & eroticism. Women rarely refer to the turn-ons that might cause the arousal that leads to orgasm.

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