Ways Women Orgasm

Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse

Shere Hite explained in the 1970s how the women in her surveys reached orgasm during sex. She compared women’s success with orgasm during masturb­a­tion to their exper­i­ence of inter­course and concluded that the differ­ence was due to lack of clit­oral stim­u­la­tion.

“To have an orgasm during inter­course, there are two ways a woman can increase her chances always remem­bering that she is adapting her body to less than adequate stimulation.

(1) First and most important, she must consciously try to apply her masturb­a­tion tech­niques to inter­course, or exper­i­ment to find out what else may work for her to get clit­oral stim­u­la­tion; or,

(2) she can work out a sexual rela­tion­ship with a partic­ular man who can meet her indi­vidual needs.” (p51 The Hite Reports 1993)

Shere Hite categor­ised only women who did not manu­ally stim­u­late the clit­oris during sex as able to reach orgasm from inter­course alone. She concluded that these women were able to orgasm during inter­course because they took steps to ensure that they maxim­ised the effects of indirect clit­oral stim­u­la­tion (from the action of the penis thrusting in the vagina) by finding suit­able posi­tions and tech­niques for inter­course.

Some women learn to reach orgasm from inter­course eventually

Liz, an attractive profes­sional woman in her late forties, was confident in offering me advice. She told me to buy Alex Comfort’s book ‘Joy of Sex’ (1972) and that “everything else would follow”. She and her partner had found a posi­tion for inter­course that made it possible for her to reach orgasm. They had found this posi­tion after a number of years not by explicit discus­sion but through trial and error. Liz confirmed that she used sexual fantasies during sex for sexual arousal and orgasm.

“For a woman to orgasm during inter­course, she must adapt her body to inad­equate stim­u­la­tion and so it is essen­tial that she work out this procedure with a regular partner.” (p49 The Hite Reports 1993)

Of the women I talked to, those who told me they exper­i­enced orgasms during sex were often dismissive of female masturb­a­tion. Without the exper­i­ence of orgasm from masturb­a­tion, a woman accepts sex without orgasm. If over time, she does even­tu­ally find a way to make inter­course orgasmic then she only stands to be pleas­antly surprised. Since these women have no other sexual outlet, if they are ever to enjoy indul­ging their sexual instincts it has to be during sex with a partner.

Few men would settle for the indirect genital stim­u­la­tion that women obtain from inter­course alone. So why are women happy to settle for less? Possible conclu­sions are (1) perhaps men have become de-sensitised through the need for prolonged thrusting or (2) women, but only some, have evolved the ability to orgasm with less genital stim­u­la­tion than men need. A more likely explan­a­tion is the tremendous pres­sure that women are under to explain how they orgasm during vaginal intercourse.

“Twenty-five to 30 percent of women climax without addi­tional clit­oral stim­u­la­tion. Experts believe these women may have a larger clit­oris than usual so it’s more easily ‘rubbed’ by a thrusting penis.” (p101 Hot Sex — 1998)

Liz was not relaxed discussing sex and admitted that she was unenthu­si­astic about female masturb­a­tion. Ten or more years into a rela­tion­ship, many couples will be in their thirties. The man, perhaps less trigger-happy, may be able to spend longer stim­u­lating his partner through thrusting. The woman may find that her body is more receptive to being aroused. A healthy amount of ‘inhib­ited’ under-the-covers sex (with the lights off) would actu­ally facil­itate a woman’s use of sexual fantasies.

Excerpt from Ways Women Orgasm (ISBN 978−095689−4700 published 2011)

2 comments for “Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse

  1. mona37
    July 26, 2014 at 6:40 pm

    this is all great info– i mean i know i keep saying this to you, but seri­ously with every story, it just seems to be educating me more, even things i prolly knew off but was just buried some­where deep within, and you helped me dig it all out to the surface!

  2. Jane
    July 26, 2014 at 7:17 pm

    Thanks Mona37.

    I find with this stuff that you have to keep going over it again and again. Unfor­tu­nately the misleading images from the world around cause us to ques­tion our own exper­i­ences and conclusions.

    I mean I’m a woman and some­times I still can’t believe that so much that is said about women’s sexu­ality is just hype. It feels as if women are so often working against each other on this…

    It’s really important to focus on the facts and the logic of what is likely to be possible rather than hoping for some fantasy that doesn’t exist. Reality is all that we have to work with at the end of the day.

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