Category Archives: Emotional intimacy
On relating our experience to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to difficulties that were perhaps transient.
I told Linda, a mother of three in her late forties, that I had never had an orgasm during intercourse. Linda looked at me incredulously and laughed as if I must be ignorant of the most basic sexual facts. Naturally, I died with mortification at the Continue reading
Men’s sexual arousal is usually easy, which gives them a natural advantage. As a consequence, while men can usually hope for orgasm from their sexual encounters, most women have to settle for the more diffused sensations of sexual arousal.
“Sex is a very different experience for women and men. A man experiences pleasure primarily as a release of sexual tension. A woman experiences sex in an opposite way Continue reading
The heterosexual act of vaginal intercourse is designed foremost as an expression of love between a man and a woman.
After all, if sex was purely about two people reaching orgasm, then we would more naturally engage in activities that involve more direct genital stimulation. Intercourse is a natural progression from kissing to a man capitalising on his sexual arousal to ‘make love’ to a woman Continue reading
Humans are one of the few mammals known to have intercourse even when the female is not in estrus (the fertile period in the female’s reproductive cycle).
Intelligent social animals learn that cooperative behaviour can be far more successful than that of any individual alone. Thus human sexuality has evolved beyond the immediate needs of reproduction to allow for the forging of emotional bonds between partners vital to Continue reading
A BBC documentary ‘The Human Body’ presented by Dr Robert Winston films a sex education class. First the teacher writes the word ‘SEX’ in large letters on the blackboard and then asks the teenagers to suggest other words associated with sex.
After the standard contributions the teacher adds the word missing from the list: ‘LOVE’.
Despite contraception, sex still involves a risk of pregnancy, sexual disease and Continue reading
In the early days of a romance, a man feels loved and needed through sex. A man’s sexual admiration for a woman makes her feel cared for and appreciated.
“Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed… Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished…” (p43 Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus)
Women’s key family role makes them more dependent on a supportive Continue reading
I have never seen any reason to be embarrassed about my body. I am pretty. I have sensual skin that browns easily and a sexy figure. My parents were always relaxed about nudity.
So when I was eighteen, out in the South of France for the summer, I enjoyed going top-less sunbathing. Why have those bikini lines that make your breasts look like icebergs? One day, as I Continue reading
Pornography is defined to be ‘sexually explicit material (verbal or pictorial) that is primarily designed to produce sexual arousal’.
Two women give their views on pornography.
Helen Longino, the American philosopher: “I define pornography as verbal or pictorial explicit representations of sexual behavior that … have as a distinguishing characteristic ‘the degrading and demeaning portrayal of the role and status of the human female . . Continue reading
Reading the word ‘sexy’, a boy of nine screwed up his face in a gesture of disgust and said “Yuck!”. I asked him why and he replied, “Because my parents told me it’s disgusting”. Presumably these parents are trying to warn their son away from the temptations of sexual pleasure with its associated immoral behaviour.
For women, there has always been acceptance of sex within the context Continue reading
Men should take comfort from the facts of female sexuality. Most women are unlikely to orgasm from intercourse alone (which provides insufficient clitoral stimulation for orgasm) and yet amazingly few women ask about lack of orgasm.
In addition to the obvious personal embarrassment, likely explanations include:
- Not every woman is interested in orgasm, whether from masturbation or from sex.
- Relatively few women masturbate and so