Tracy Cox (author of ‘Hot Sex’ 1998) tells the story of a woman who welcomes her partner home wearing a sexy nightdress, with champagne by the bed and a pornographic movie ready to play. If she does this regularly over the longer term then I take my hat off to her!
Her partner is a very lucky man.
An erection might feel good but it is likely to be a disadvantage if a man wants to devote time to pleasuring a woman.
Why in our liberated times do women still accept ‘putting up with sex’ just to avoid being single? I am not judging anyone else’s experiences.
Slowly attitudes to sexual pleasure are changing and more couples are approaching their sex life with a willingness to try activities other than vaginal intercourse.
Basically, if you are struggling with lack of arousal during sex and genuinely want to share your own arousal with a partner then you will need to be prepared to explore activities other than intercourse.
Make a special effort once in a while to
Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and downs like anyone else.
There have also been many positive moments.
In the film ‘Basic Instinct’ (1992) Michael Douglas, playing the detective, asks Sharon Stone, playing the millionairess, whether she enjoyed having sex with her ex-lover. She replies that she liked having sex with him because he was ‘good with his hands’.
Pleasuring a woman is more likely to involve a man using his hands during sex than his penis.
My mother never talked to me much about sex but she did tell me to respect a man’s sexual ego. She believed that a man’s sexual performance relies on a sensitive lover who understands how to play to a man’s sexual fantasies.
A man hopes for a lover who is enthusiastic about sharing physical intimacy and their intimate time together as lovers.