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Category Archives: Orgasm techniques
Women’s sexual arousal tends to be assumed or overlooked
Much of what is known about female orgasm comes from women’s experience of masturbation. Shere Hite’s work focused on female masturbation and the clitoris.
As a research student in the United States in the early 1970s, Shere (pronounced ‘sherry’) Hite circulated a lengthy questionnaire through women’s magazines and to passers-by on the street. She asked women to answer direct questions about orgasm anonymously.
Only 30% of her
Lack of orgasm is not a sexual dysfunction
It is often suggested that a lack of female orgasm during sex is a sign of sexual dysfunction but the truth is that this is simply the way things are for women who hope for orgasm from their sexual relationships. A woman is lucky to orgasm by any means.
The belief that women orgasm ‘naturally’ during sex is based on fantasy (erotica and pornography) and contradicts the conclusions Continue reading
The 10 facts of female sexuality
Beliefs about female sexuality are more often based on fantasy than facts. These are the 10 essential facts that every sexual woman should know:
(1) Enjoying orgasm through genital stimulation
Anyone, male or female, alone or with a partner, uses genital stimulation to take a mental state of sexual arousal (achieved by appreciating eroticism) to orgasm.
(2) The role of psychological sexual arousal
During masturbation Continue reading
Why foreplay techniques don’t always work as we think they should
Foreplay has evolved as a means of compensating women for the lack of clitoral stimulation during intercourse. The concept behind foreplay techniques (including clitoral stimulation) is that a man should be able to arouse a woman sufficiently to enable him to continue stimulating her to orgasm through thrusting alone.
One problem with foreplay is that clitoral stimulation needs to continue to the point of orgasm. (Imagine if Continue reading
Transferring masturbation techniques to sex
Caroline lived on a farm as a child and was fortunate in having innocent and light-hearted sexual experiences as she grew up. Even as kids they would play the ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ game on the bus ride to school.
Her mother insisted that Caroline went on the pill at sixteen. She was not bothered about the sex. She simply wanted Caroline to be Continue reading
Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse
Shere Hite explained in the 1970s how the women in her surveys reached orgasm during sex. She compared women’s success with orgasm during masturbation to their experience of intercourse and concluded that the difference was due to lack of clitoral stimulation.
“To have an orgasm during intercourse, there are two ways a woman can increase her chances always remembering that she is adapting her body to Continue reading
Difficulties in applying orgasm techniques to sex
Women’s orgasm techniques leant from masturbation (including both clitoral stimulation and use of sexual fantasies) are not always as easy to transfer to sex with a partner as experts imply.
Women’s psychological sexual arousal
Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen ‘naturally’ or with the assistance of a loving partner.
No one needs to tell men how their sexual arousal works. Boys experience spontaneous erections so that male masturbation is inevitable. Girls do not develop the same genital focus and so they end up confusing the emotions of sex with true sexual arousal and Continue reading
True female sexual arousal and orgasm
Any talk of sexual arousal and orgasm, usually focuses on women since men’s sexual arousal and orgasm tend to be a given.
It is unthinkable that anyone needs to tell a man how to orgasm. By the time they are teenagers, boys have discovered how to enjoy their own sexual arousal, by looking at images of naked women. Likewise no one tells a boy that to orgasm Continue reading
The ideal male lover
Alex Comfort’s book ‘The Joy of Sex’ (1972) documented primarily positions for intercourse that he and his mistress had found pleasurable as part of their affair. The affair was quite open and the two lovers shared the family home with his wife and son.
Don’t get me wrong. What Alex Comfort achieved was amazing at the time. His book brought eroticism into respectable marital sex and promoted the Continue reading