Category Archives: Sexual desire

The sexual politics of female sexual desire

Although the modern day hype about female sexu­ality was in part sparked off by the work of Alfred Kinsey, the facts he reported have long since been lost in the rush to sensa­tion­alise female sexual desire.

Kinsey’s report clearly set out the much lower sexual response of the female (as meas­ured by the incid­ence of orgasm) and the incred­ible range in sexual respons­ive­ness reported by women Continue reading

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Sexual promiscuity

Renate, a student of twenty-six, liked to be affec­tionate with her male friends but then was bewildered when they inter­preted her hugs as a sexual advance.

A man tends to assume that phys­ical intimacy is a given as soon as a woman shows him any affec­tion. A woman needs time to build the emotional intimacy that causes her to be amen­able to sex.

“Women asso­ciate affec­tion Continue reading

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How female sexuality differs to male sexuality

Many hetero­sexuals like the fact that the opposite sex is funda­ment­ally different. Both our sexu­ality and our emotional responses differ.

Men are macho, some­times a little insens­itive, largely disin­ter­ested in how they look, social issues or chil­dren. Women are pretty, some­times a little controlling, largely disin­ter­ested in getting dirty, doing battle or anything remotely technical.

When we gener­alise we need to be careful not to imply that Continue reading

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Women’s sexual desire

Women who live alone or do not have an active sex life with their partner some­times perceive them­selves to be sexu­ally needy because they start to doubt their ability to attract men.

Margaret (early fifties, chil­dren, rela­tion­ship 30 years) was confident that she was highly sexual and inter­ested in sex. However, her sexual rela­tion­ship with her partner had broken down and she admitted that she did not consider Continue reading

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Female orgasm is not required for reproduction

We have known for decades that inter­course doesn’t provide suffi­cient PHYSICAL stim­u­la­tion (of the clit­oris) for orgasm. But even more funda­ment­ally, how do women achieve the PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal needed to orgasm during sex?

Over the years, I have found very few women who seem bothered that sex is unlikely to provide female orgasm. I under­stand that women who never masturbate are not motiv­ated by orgasm. I am targeting Continue reading

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Women have a lower sex drive

Men’s sexual arousal is usually easy whereas women’s sexual arousal and orgasm are not auto­matic so unsur­pris­ingly sex tends to focus on male sexual arousal.

A man’s orgasm (since it is usually co-incident with ejac­u­la­tion) is crit­ical to repro­duc­tion and so it makes sense that men are motiv­ated by erot­i­cism and able to reach orgasm easily.

Female orgasm, on the other hand, is not required Continue reading

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A sexual relationship

Judy married in the late 1950s; well before the average woman was informed about what a sexual rela­tion­ship might involve. Judy’s aspir­a­tions were to provide a comfort­able home for her family and to enjoy being a wife and a mother.

When I talked to her, Judy was in her mid-sixties with grown up chil­dren and a rela­tion­ship of over 40 years. It was always doubtful whether she would under­stand Continue reading

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Understanding female sexual desire

One of the miscon­cep­tions of the sexual revolu­tion was the proposal that, for men and women to be equal, they had to be the same. But testosterone is the sex hormone. Men’s bodies are full of it but women have much lower levels of testosterone.

Attrib­utes tradi­tion­ally considered feminine (e.g. being passive or accom­mod­ating) were thought to be signs of weak­ness or inferi­ority. Whereas tradi­tion­ally mascu­line attrib­utes (e.g Continue reading

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Young and sexy

A young and sexy woman complained about the male atten­tion she got every time she left the hostel on 42nd Street, Manhattan, dressed in her high heels and low cleavage. Yes, well… It is relat­ively easy for a woman to attract a man’s atten­tion by enhan­cing her looks.

It is more diffi­cult for her to cash in on the advantage by enjoying orgasm during sex. Women are Continue reading

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Women who fake orgasm

Men tell me how convinced they are that ALL their part­ners orgasm during sex. But that’s kind of what faking orgasm is about, isn’t it?

It if wasn’t convin­cing then what would be the point? Men should sleep with women who are less sexu­ally exper­i­enced. Virgins are much more likely to admit that inter­course does not lead to female sexual arousal.

Very few virgins approach Continue reading

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