Sex is associated with pleasure (through sexual arousal and orgasm) as well as with reproduction (through family and relationships). However male and female sexuality are, often implicitly, defined differently in terms of the importance of the relationship aspects of sex.
For example, men are motivated to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm regardless of a relationship.
It is natural that female sexuality is misrepresented by the media. We all watch films and read books in part to be entertained. We don’t necessarily want to see real life because we know what that’s like.
Up until the 1950s society believed that women only had sex either for the purposes of procreation or to satisfy their partner. Alfred Kinsey’s revelation in 1953 that women also experience orgasm caused a sensation.
His report was attacked for being ‘anti-family’ in finding high incidences of male infidelity (40%) and homosexuality (37%) as well as female masturbation (62%), which others thought to be unrepresentative.
Men’s sexual arousal is usually easy whereas women’s sexual arousal and orgasm are not automatic so unsurprisingly sex tends to focus on male sexual arousal.
A man’s orgasm (since it is usually co-incident with ejaculation) is critical to reproduction and so it makes sense that men are motivated by eroticism and able to reach orgasm easily.
Female orgasm, on the other hand, is not required for a woman to
Given the practical nature of sex (book-learning only gets you so far!) we tend to assume that sex experts have personal experience to support their ‘expertise’.
Such is our embarrassment over sex that even when a person is advising others about sex we think it improper to ask them to account for their sexual experiences.
Why do adults so often assume that they know everything about sex when most people have never even read a sex manual?
Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but why do they have to flaunt their own sexual ego?
We have known for decades that intercourse doesn’t provide sufficient PHYSICAL stimulation (of the clitoris) for orgasm. But even more fundamentally, how do women achieve the PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal needed to orgasm during sex?
Over the years, I have found very few women who seem bothered that sex is unlikely to provide female orgasm. I understand that women who never masturbate are not motivated by orgasm.