One of the reasons that adults find it difficult to discuss sex openly is because of the personal nature of sex. It’s important to consider how other people might feel as a result of what we say.
So men can be offended if it is implied that because they are enthusiastic about sex this necessarily means that they are less discriminating.
Many heterosexuals like the fact that the opposite sex is fundamentally different. Both our sexuality and our emotional responses differ.
Men are macho, sometimes a little insensitive, largely disinterested in how they look, social issues or children.
As a young woman I never understood why I did not experience sexual arousal as a natural part of my sexual relationship. Much later I decided to talk to experts, assuming that they would have some answers, but I was met only with evasion and silence.
The issue of women’s sexual arousal and orgasm with a partner is surrounded by mis-information, contrary opinions and, above all, defensiveness.
Imagine the scenario: a woman, wearing a skirt and no panties, climbs a ladder. A man below enjoys a clear view of her genitals. Imagine now that the genders are reversed: my point is that a woman is unlikely to appreciate the view in the same way that a man does.
Of course, someone will always disagree.
Renate, a student of twenty-six, liked to be affectionate with her male friends but then was bewildered when they interpreted her hugs as a sexual advance.
A man tends to assume that physical intimacy is a given as soon as a woman shows him any affection. A woman needs time to build the emotional intimacy that causes her to be amenable to sex.
“Women associate affection with love.
Everyone says “but it all works fine for other women”. My question is “How?”
Men have more testosterone. Men get turned on by anything that moves in a skirt with legs. All men naturally masturbate throughout their sexually active lives. They heckle, they ask women to dance, they proposition, etc. etc.
And women? They wait to be asked.
I approached my adult life in anticipation of a mutually enjoyable sex life. This optimism was fuelled by my love of erotic literature, which I read avidly as a teenager.