Natalie, a woman in her late twenties, had a close relationship with her mother who was a doctor. I approached Natalie hoping that a mother with a medical background might be more likely than others to have discussed her sexual experiences with a daughter.
When young women have difficulty reaching orgasm during sex, it can be difficult for them to find answers.
It is natural that female sexuality is misrepresented by the media. We all watch films and read books in part to be entertained. We don’t necessarily want to see real life because we know what that’s like.
Given the practical nature of sex (book-learning only gets you so far!) we tend to assume that sex experts have personal experience to support their ‘expertise’.
Such is our embarrassment over sex that even when a person is advising others about sex we think it improper to ask them to account for their sexual experiences.
When my partner and I decided to get married, his work-mates took him out for a beer to convince him that marriage would mean the end of his sex life.
Naturally no woman ever gave me similar advice. I accepted early on that a woman needs to invest in sex for her man’s sake.
The suggestion is that female sexuality is identical to male sexuality.
As a young woman I never understood why I did not experience sexual arousal as a natural part of my sexual relationship. Much later I decided to talk to experts, assuming that they would have some answers, but I was met only with evasion and silence.
The issue of women’s sexual arousal and orgasm with a partner is surrounded by mis-information, contrary opinions and, above all, defensiveness.
Everyone says “but it all works fine for other women”. My question is “How?”
Men have more testosterone. Men get turned on by anything that moves in a skirt with legs. All men naturally masturbate throughout their sexually active lives. They heckle, they ask women to dance, they proposition, etc. etc.
And women? They wait to be asked.