Ways Women Orgasm

What real women say

Reality versus fiction. What real women say about sex and orgasm is very different to how women’s responsiveness is portrayed in pornography and other erotic fiction.

Comparing orgasm from female masturbation and with a partner

Graphs are not very exciting concepts but nevertheless they can be useful. Imagine the male orgasm graph which looks a little like a vertical phallic symbol. Then imagine the female orgasm graph which looks like the outline of a woman’s vulva.

The male experience is shorter but more intense. The female experience is longer but lower overall.

Women settle for emotional intimacy over sexual arousal

On relating our experience to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to difficulties that were perhaps transient.

I told Linda, a mother of three in her late forties, that I had never had an orgasm during intercourse. Linda looked at me incredulously and laughed as if I must be ignorant of the most basic sexual facts.

Emotional intimacy

Enjoying sex for life involves continuing to be thrilled by each other’s company in a broader sense than just sex.

It involves demonstrating affection by reacting sensitively to each other’s needs. The physical intimacy of sex (because of its highly personal nature) leads to emotional intimacy where there is trust and respect.

Sexual arousal from romantic emotions

Many women talk about sexual arousal and orgasm in terms of their relationship. They describe their loving feelings for their partner and explain their sexual arousal in terms of the idea that their partner finds them attractive.

Masturbation has no meaning for them because, for such women, sex focuses on the emotional benefits of sharing physical intimacy with their man.