Angela, a woman in her early twenties, was having relationship problems with her boyfriend of six months. She was upset that he enjoyed looking at other women. She got him to agree to stop buying pornographic magazines, which she found demeaning.
”Porn to men is not a big deal.
In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex.
I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated.
I have never seen any reason to be embarrassed about my body. I am pretty. I have sensual skin that browns easily and a sexy figure. My parents were always relaxed about nudity.
So when I was eighteen, out in the South of France for the summer, I enjoyed going top-less sunbathing.
When they talk about their sexual relationships with men, women will often refer to love, trust and commitment.
These factors are obviously important for the stability of long-term relationships that family life depends on. But they are not factors that will help a woman learn how to enjoy orgasm during sex.
Many women see sex as an emotional and loving experience.
Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult eroticism that one wonders if they have ever experienced sexual urges of any kind.
Nancy, a recently widowed woman in her seventies became acquainted with John, a man of the same age, during a stay in hospital. On the grounds of friendship, they met once for lunch and then Nancy invited him to her house.
Sexual arousal is a mental state that arises when the mind responds to PSYCHOLOGICAL stimuli (of an erotic or sexual nature).
In the early days of a romance, a man feels loved and needed through sex. A man’s sexual admiration for a woman makes her feel cared for and appreciated.
“Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed… Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished…” (p43 Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus)
Women’s key family role makes them more dependent on a supportive relationship.