When I had sex for the first time, I was disappointed because I had hoped that sex would be spontaneously arousing enough for me to orgasm. I didn’t have any clear idea about what I would do during sex except perhaps to respond affectionately to my lover’s love-making.
It’s amazing when you think of it.
Becky explained via e-mail: “I had my first orgasm at 26 during masturbation – pretty late I know & since then no stopping me with the sex toys : ) . Plenty of my girlfriends have not though – and like you say, don’t seem too bothered about it which I can’t understand.”
Despite this evidence Becky was convinced that every woman must be interested in orgasm.
Humans are one of the few mammals known to have intercourse even when the female is not in estrus (the fertile period in the female’s reproductive cycle).
Intelligent social animals learn that cooperative behaviour can be far more successful than that of any individual alone.
Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense of fun in modern sexual relationships. Liberal-minded couples welcomed the idea that it could now be considered normal and ‘uninhibited’ to enjoy sex as a natural part of an adult relationship.
Drawings, as opposed to photographs, portrayed the physical intimacy between two lovers sensitively.
Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons.
“Many women think of masturbation as unnatural and disgusting and a complete waste of time, and don’t understand why anybody does it and are unsympathetic to the view that people might continue to do it even though they have sexual partners.
As our bodies develop through puberty, young men and women become aware of themselves as very different sexual beings.
Boys have erections as early as 8 or 9. During puberty the penis increases substantially in size and becomes much more responsive to stimulation, both mental and physical.
The heterosexual act of vaginal intercourse is designed foremost as an expression of love between a man and a woman.
After all, if sex was purely about two people reaching orgasm, then we would more naturally engage in activities that involve more direct genital stimulation.