Alex Comfort’s book ‘The Joy of Sex’ (1972) documented primarily positions for intercourse that he and his mistress had found pleasurable as part of their affair. The affair was quite open and the two lovers shared the family home with his wife and son.
Don’t get me wrong. What Alex Comfort achieved was amazing at the time.
Any talk of sexual arousal and orgasm, usually focuses on women since men’s sexual arousal and orgasm tend to be a given.
It is unthinkable that anyone needs to tell a man how to orgasm. By the time they are teenagers, boys have discovered how to enjoy their own sexual arousal, by looking at images of naked women.
Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen ‘naturally’ or with the assistance of a loving partner.
No one needs to tell men how their sexual arousal works. Boys experience spontaneous erections so that male masturbation is inevitable.
Women’s orgasm techniques leant from masturbation (including both clitoral stimulation and use of sexual fantasies) are not always as easy to transfer to sex with a partner as experts imply.
“Among all types of sexual activity, masturbation is, however, the one in which the female most frequently reaches orgasm.
Shere Hite explained in the 1970s how the women in her surveys reached orgasm during sex.
Caroline lived on a farm as a child and was fortunate in having innocent and light-hearted sexual experiences as she grew up. Even as kids they would play the ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’ game on the bus ride to school.
Her mother insisted that Caroline went on the pill at sixteen. She was not bothered about the sex.
Foreplay has evolved as a means of compensating women for the lack of clitoral stimulation during intercourse. The concept behind foreplay techniques (including clitoral stimulation) is that a man should be able to arouse a woman sufficiently to enable him to continue stimulating her to orgasm through thrusting alone.
One problem with foreplay is that clitoral stimulation needs to continue to the point of orgasm.