Tag Archives: Emotional intimacy

Women settle for emotional intimacy over sexual arousal

On relating our exper­i­ence to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to diffi­culties that were perhaps transient.

I told Linda, a mother of three in her late forties, that I had never had an orgasm during inter­course. Linda looked at me incred­u­lously and laughed as if I must be ignorant of the most basic sexual facts. Natur­ally, I died with morti­fic­a­tion at the Continue reading

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Emotional intimacy may lead to physical intimacy

Sex does not stand alone in a rela­tion­ship and in long-term sexual rela­tion­ships couples need to invest in quality time together.

The candle-lit dinners, soft music and flowers we tend to asso­ciate with romance provide the back­drop for the compan­ion­able aspects of a rela­tion­ship. Emotional intimacy comes from spending intimate time together by sharing conver­sa­tion, humour and friend­ship over dinner, while taking a walk or as Continue reading

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Female sexuality in perspective

Humans are one of the few mammals known to have inter­course even when the female is not in estrus (the fertile period in the female’s repro­ductive cycle).

Intel­li­gent social animals learn that cooper­ative beha­viour can be far more successful than that of any indi­vidual alone. Thus human sexu­ality has evolved beyond the imme­diate needs of repro­duc­tion to allow for the forging of emotional bonds between part­ners vital to Continue reading

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A man’s sexual arousal can be very flattering

In the early days of a romance, a man feels loved and needed through sex. A man’s sexual admir­a­tion for a woman makes her feel cared for and appreciated.

“Men are motiv­ated and empowered when they feel needed… Women are motiv­ated and empowered when they feel cher­ished…” (p43 Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus)

Women’s key family role makes them more dependent on a supportive Continue reading

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Sexual promiscuity

Renate, a student of twenty-six, liked to be affec­tionate with her male friends but then was bewildered when they inter­preted her hugs as a sexual advance.

A man tends to assume that phys­ical intimacy is a given as soon as a woman shows him any affec­tion. A woman needs time to build the emotional intimacy that causes her to be amen­able to sex.

“Women asso­ciate affec­tion Continue reading

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