Tag Archives: eroticism

Why do so few women comment on sexual pleasure?

I am not so crazy as to approach just any random woman on the subject of sex. I know that most women will be irre­vers­ibly offended even at the mention of sex. So I choose women who appear to be fairly liber­ated and then I approach the subject tangentially.

Of the women I have been brave enough to approach, the vast majority have shunned me. It is this Continue reading

Posted in Misconceptions | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring erot­i­cism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and downs like anyone else.

There have also been many positive moments. When I am in a romantic mood, perhaps after a movie or after spending compan­ion­able time with my partner, it can be the most exhil­ar­ating exper­i­ence to enjoy passionate kissing while having sex Continue reading

Posted in Enjoying sex play | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Women’s sexual arousal tends to be assumed or overlooked

Much of what is known about female orgasm comes from women’s exper­i­ence of masturb­a­tion. Shere Hite’s work focused on female masturb­a­tion and the clitoris.

As a research student in the United States in the early 1970s, Shere (pronounced ‘sherry’) Hite circu­lated a lengthy ques­tion­naire through women’s magazines and to passers-by on the street. She asked women to answer direct ques­tions about orgasm anonymously.

Only 30% of her

Continue reading

Posted in Orgasm techniques | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

How women enjoy eroticism through sex stories

Most hetero­sexual women do not masturbate. They also do not find the concepts of erot­i­cism or fantasy that appealing. So who reads all the feminine erotica out there?

Presum­ably some lesbian women masturbate and read erotica. In fact, female masturb­a­tion and clit­oral stim­u­la­tion are often asso­ci­ated with lesbi­anism. Perhaps this is why so much female erotica focuses on women’s bodies and sex between women.

No Continue reading

Posted in Sexual fantasies | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

How to pleasure a man

Tracy Cox (author of ‘Hot Sex’ 1998) tells the story of a woman who welcomes her partner home wearing a sexy night­dress, with cham­pagne by the bed and a porno­graphic movie ready to play. If she does this regu­larly over the longer term then I take my hat off to her!

Her partner is a very lucky man. More real­ist­ic­ally such pampering to a man’s sexual fantasies is Continue reading

Posted in Physical intimacy | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

Why sex is called ‘making love’

The hetero­sexual act of vaginal inter­course is designed fore­most as an expres­sion of love between a man and a woman.

After all, if sex was purely about two people reaching orgasm, then we would more natur­ally engage in activ­ities that involve more direct genital stim­u­la­tion. Inter­course is a natural progres­sion from kissing to a man capit­al­ising on his sexual arousal to ‘make love’ to a woman Continue reading

Posted in Emotional intimacy | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

How a woman can enjoy sex play

In the novelty of a new sexual rela­tion­ship, I have explored a variety of sexual activ­ities with a partner. So, in addi­tion to vaginal inter­course missionary style, in the early days we tried oral sex, manual clit­oral stim­u­la­tion and different posi­tions for intercourse.

I enjoyed the role of the pros­ti­tute, giving pleasure to my man, but I never exper­i­enced the sexual arousal required for orgasm. The Continue reading

Posted in Enjoying sex play | Tagged , , , , | 8 Comments

Understanding women’s sexual arousal

Sex is asso­ci­ated with repro­duc­tion and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejac­u­la­tion which leads to repro­duc­tion but female orgasm is not required for a woman to become pregnant.

So it’s at least possible that women may exper­i­ence sexual pleasure (including sexual desire, sexual arousal and orgasm) differ­ently to men.

Men discover orgasm at a young age but women have no way of knowing what Continue reading

Posted in Sexual arousal | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Women have a lower sex drive

Men’s sexual arousal is usually easy whereas women’s sexual arousal and orgasm are not auto­matic so unsur­pris­ingly sex tends to focus on male sexual arousal.

A man’s orgasm (since it is usually co-incident with ejac­u­la­tion) is crit­ical to repro­duc­tion and so it makes sense that men are motiv­ated by erot­i­cism and able to reach orgasm easily.

Female orgasm, on the other hand, is not required Continue reading

Posted in Sexual desire | Tagged , , , , | 3 Comments

Eroticism

Men and women live in different worlds when it comes to atti­tudes to erot­i­cism. I suggested that most women today know how to pleasure a man but a British sex expert (male) disagreed:

They haven’t a clue, and even if they knew, most wouldn’t do it.”

A joke illus­trates the point: “What is the differ­ence between a job and a wife?” Answer “After ten years a job Continue reading

Posted in Enjoying sex play | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment