Although I knew that women’s sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies during masturbation, when I approached orgasm during sex, I never considered using sexual fantasies to generate sexual arousal. The presence of another person makes it impossible to achieve the mental focus needed to reach orgasm through fantasy alone.
“Women also often find it easier to fantasise when self-pleasuring than in sex with a partner.
Unless they masturbate, most women are unaware that clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm. Equally, they are unaware that before genital stimulation can be effective, a person needs to know how to achieve true sexual arousal, which depends on an appreciation of eroticism (images for men; scenarios for women).
From puberty onwards men’s sexual arousal (as evidenced by an erection) makes regular masturbation inevitable.
Perhaps it would be simpler if I explained that I am targeting women who masturbate regularly in order to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm.
Other women can be totally convinced that sexual arousal is easy and I am very happy for them. But if you do not masturbate then you cannot usefully comment on the experiences of women who do.
Shere Hite pointed out in 1976 that intercourse does not provide the specific clitoral stimulation that women need to orgasm. So, it is very likely that any woman who claims easy orgasm during intercourse is mistaken.
Especially given so few women masturbate and so most do not know what orgasm is.
I’m sure that men will understand the point.
Everyone says “but it all works fine for other women”. My question is “How?”
Men have more testosterone. Men get turned on by anything that moves in a skirt with legs. All men naturally masturbate throughout their sexually active lives. They heckle, they ask women to dance, they proposition, etc. etc.
And women? They wait to be asked.
Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen ‘naturally’ or with the assistance of a loving partner.
No one needs to tell men how their sexual arousal works. Boys experience spontaneous erections so that male masturbation is inevitable.