Tag Archives: Sexual arousal

How to orgasm

Shere Hite explained how women apply orgasm tech­niques in order to orgasm during inter­course. Women’s sexual arousal and orgasm are not auto­matic and so women have to learn how to orgasm. Inev­it­ably, such tech­niques take time to develop.

“… the two reasons women don’t orgasm during inter­course are:

(1) they are given false inform­a­tion, specific­ally they are told that the penis thrusting in the Continue reading

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Sexual arousal from romantic emotions

Many women talk about sexual arousal and orgasm in terms of their rela­tion­ship. They describe their loving feel­ings for their partner and explain their sexual arousal in terms of the idea that their partner finds them attractive.

Masturb­a­tion has no meaning for them because, for such women, sex focuses on the emotional bene­fits of sharing phys­ical intimacy with their man. It’s important not to judge other people’s exper­i­ences Continue reading

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How a woman can learn to masturbate

If a woman is open-minded to the idea of exploring erot­i­cism, she should start by reading some erotic liter­ature. I suggest:

  • Emmanuelle’ by Emmanuelle Arsan: relates the sexual adven­tures of young women;
  • The Happy Hooker’ by Xaviera Hollander: describes the author’s exper­i­ences of pleas­uring men as a high-class pros­ti­tute and the madam of a brothel; and
  • The Story of O’ by Pauline Reage: describes

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Posted in Female masturbation | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

How female sexuality differs to male sexuality

Many hetero­sexuals like the fact that the opposite sex is funda­ment­ally different. Both our sexu­ality and our emotional responses differ.

Men are macho, some­times a little insens­itive, largely disin­ter­ested in how they look, social issues or chil­dren. Women are pretty, some­times a little controlling, largely disin­ter­ested in getting dirty, doing battle or anything remotely technical.

When we gener­alise we need to be careful not to imply that Continue reading

Posted in Sexual desire | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

What sex experts have told me

When my partner and I decided to get married, his work-mates took him out for a beer to convince him that marriage would mean the end of his sex life.

Natur­ally no woman ever gave me similar advice. I accepted early on that a woman needs to invest in sex for her man’s sake. Even so, I was prepared to believe that there was some­thing wrong with me Continue reading

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Why do so few women comment on sexual pleasure?

I am not so crazy as to approach just any random woman on the subject of sex. I know that most women will be irre­vers­ibly offended even at the mention of sex. So I choose women who appear to be fairly liber­ated and then I approach the subject tangentially.

Of the women I have been brave enough to approach, the vast majority have shunned me. It is this Continue reading

Posted in Misconceptions | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Some women do explore sexual pleasure

Slowly atti­tudes to sexual pleasure are chan­ging and more couples are approaching their sex life with a will­ing­ness to try activ­ities other than vaginal intercourse.

Basic­ally, if you are strug­gling with lack of arousal during sex and genu­inely want to share your own arousal with a partner then you will need to be prepared to explore activ­ities other than intercourse.

Make a special effort once Continue reading

Posted in Physical intimacy | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments

Women settle for emotional intimacy over sexual arousal

On relating our exper­i­ence to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to diffi­culties that were perhaps transient.

I told Linda, a mother of three in her late forties, that I had never had an orgasm during inter­course. Linda looked at me incred­u­lously and laughed as if I must be ignorant of the most basic sexual facts. Natur­ally, I died with morti­fic­a­tion at the Continue reading

Posted in Emotional intimacy | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring erot­i­cism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and downs like anyone else.

There have also been many positive moments. When I am in a romantic mood, perhaps after a movie or after spending compan­ion­able time with my partner, it can be the most exhil­ar­ating exper­i­ence to enjoy passionate kissing while having sex Continue reading

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Women’s sexual arousal tends to be assumed or overlooked

Much of what is known about female orgasm comes from women’s exper­i­ence of masturb­a­tion. Shere Hite’s work focused on female masturb­a­tion and the clitoris.

As a research student in the United States in the early 1970s, Shere (pronounced ‘sherry’) Hite circu­lated a lengthy ques­tion­naire through women’s magazines and to passers-by on the street. She asked women to answer direct ques­tions about orgasm anonymously.

Only 30% of her

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Posted in Orgasm techniques | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments