In response to my sugges­tion that it was ridicu­lous to suggest that a man can give a woman an orgasm, a man wrote:

“My wife is consist­ently orgasmic. They are obvi­ously not faked. She can’t fake the cries, the invol­un­tary move­ments, the demands for more stim­u­la­tion, and everything else that goes with orgasm.

I’ve offered oral and manual stim­u­la­tion. She rejects oral because she considers it unhygienic and a short cut for those who lack skills to do it the regular way. She demands my penis as soon as I have an erec­tion. She orgasms through penile thrusting. …

I admit I have not had as much variety as a lot of men have had, but the three women with whom I have had sex have demanded a penis. Judging from the intensity of their orgasms, they’ve been very satis­fied and would have it no other way. My wife tells me she lets me caress her to orgasm with my fingers only for my enjoy­ment. She prefers an orgasm with my penis.”

Why is a man with this exper­i­ence reading my stories in the first place? I am not doubting that men have these exper­i­ences that read like erotic fiction. I am inter­ested in discussing any LOGICAL EXPLANATIONS for how women are supposed to achieve female orgasm given the FACTS of female sexu­ality. Even men need psycho­lo­gical arousal and genital stim­u­la­tion for orgasm.

“In most females the walls of the vagina are devoid of end organs of touch and are quite insens­itive when they are gently stroked or lightly pressed. For most indi­viduals the insens­it­ivity extends to every part of the vagina. … This insens­it­ivity of the vagina has been recog­nized by gynae­co­lo­gists who regu­larly probe and do surface oper­a­tions in this area without using anaes­thesia.” (p580 Sexual beha­vior in the human female 1953)

The clit­oris is the female sex organ

The vagina (as part of the birth canal) has little sens­it­ivity. To come across even one woman who can feel sensa­tions in a part of the body with few nerve endings would be weird but to come across three such women is posit­ively suspicious.

Why would anyone who is hoping for orgasm ignore their own sex organ? It doesn’t make sense. Why are men so ready to accept that although they need penile stim­u­la­tion in order to orgasm, women easily orgasm without any genital stimulation?

A woman’s sex organ is the clit­oris (which has many nerve endings) and if women exper­i­enced true sexual arousal then they would want to stim­u­late their genitals (through clit­oral stim­u­la­tion) just as men do. Women approach sex with a focus on the penis and penile thrusting because male sexual arousal is much easier to achieve.

For years I was convinced that vaginal inter­course MUST work. Even though my own exper­i­ence told me that it did not. Even knowing that clit­oral stim­u­la­tion is required for female orgasm did not help because nothing seemed to work with a partner.

“During eighteen years of marriage, we did everything but stand on our heads, but there were few orgasms for me … Masturb­a­tion has always worked.” (The Hite Reports 1993)

Clit­oral stim­u­la­tion alone does not guar­antee orgasm because genital stim­u­la­tion is only effective once a person is mentally aroused. Anyone who is familiar with orgasm will appre­ciate this point. If you cannot get turned-on in your mind then it doesn’t matter how much you stim­u­late your genitals — nothing will happen. This is why men need an erec­tion before they can orgasm.

Even when I knew how to orgasm from female masturb­a­tion, I did not consider using the same orgasm tech­niques during sex. Many women find that sex with a lover is incom­pat­ible with using sexual fantasies.