All the modern day hype about female sexuality was in part sparked off by the work of Alfred Kinsey. Kinsey’s report ‘Sexual behaviour in the human female’ (published in 1953) documented for the first time women’s accounts of how they also enjoyed sexual desire.

The world was not so different in the 1950s. Technology may appear to have changed the world beyond recognition but attitudes are slower to change. Human nature does not change at all.

So if there are women today who can insist on how they easily orgasm during sex, despite all the experiences of other women to the contrary and a few inconvenient facts, then why not in the 1950s? After all, Kinsey’s researchers only documented what women told them.

Even today, women who claim easy orgasm with a partner can rarely explain how they orgasm during sex. Orgasms ‘just happen’. Very few women appreciate the eroticism that leads to sexual arousal, which explains why even today female masturbation is relatively uncommon.

Sure there are women who enjoy adventurous sex play with a lover. I know because I’m one of them. Sure there are women who enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm through masturbation. But this is very different to saying that all women are as sexual as all men.

The young men I have been with seem to live in a permanent sex fantasy and masturbate up to two or three times a day. I only masturbate that much per week maximum and can happily go a week or two without orgasm.

To compete with ‘male sex drive’, modern women are assumed to have an equal ‘female sex drive’. Yet prostitution and pornography still thrive as much as ever. Insistence on political correctness means that no one can explain these anomalies.

Sexual desire versus sex drive to reach orgasm during sex

Female orgasm is not required for a woman to become pregnant. Consequently women do not have the same biological drive as men to orgasm during sex so sexual relationships favour male orgasm. The aim of Ways Women Orgasm is not to dwell on the difficulties but to accept that they exist and suggest how couples can improve on what they already have.

Some women suggest that any presentation that does not portray sex as ‘wonderful’, ‘orgasmic’ etc. will ‘put women off sex’. This is ludicrous. Women know what they want and what they enjoy as much as men do. Feminist beliefs about sexual equality with men (how can we be equal when men don’t have babies?) prevent women from learning the facts of their sexuality.

Today women have a much higher level of general education and higher confidence. They are less dependent on men both financially and emotionally. They can question their sexual experiences much more confidently. There is less taboo about sex. My discussion of sex is for those women who are confident of their sexuality and their ability to evaluate their own experiences.

Many women never orgasm by any means and most of the stories of female orgasm during sex come from women who don’t even know how to masturbate to orgasm. It is quite normal for a woman only to orgasm through masturbation alone. Sadly, because so few women can masturbate to orgasm this experience is categorised as sexually dysfunctional by experts today.

The pressure on women to be sexual equals with men means that women’s difficulties with sexual desire are hushed up. Instead of sex becoming more open it just got a whole lot more embarrassing. Most sources never even admit the facts.

Our definition of female sexuality should reflect the experiences of ALL women whatever their age, attitudes or politics. Only then can we hope to gain a more realistic understanding of how the average woman can hope to achieve true sexual arousal and orgasm. The truth is that female orgasm during sex is much more difficult to achieve than is ever acknowledged.

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