Ways Women Orgasm

True female sexual arousal and orgasm

Any talk of sexual arousal and orgasm, usually focuses on women since men’s sexual arousal and orgasm tend to be a given.

It is unthink­able that anyone needs to tell a man how to orgasm. By the time they are teen­agers, boys have discovered how to enjoy their own sexual arousal, by looking at images of naked women. Like­wise no one tells a boy that to orgasm he also needs to stim­u­late his penis.

Most women never masturbate and so they never learn that real female orgasms arise (just as male orgasms do) from bringing a mental state of sexual arousal to orgasm using genital stim­u­la­tion (of the clitoris).

Given the popular belief that female arousal and orgasm during sex are easily achieved, many women simply assume that they exper­i­ence these sensa­tions as a natural part of their sexual relationship.

Sexual arousal (using erotic images/fantasies)

We know that men achieve sexual arousal through an appre­ci­ation of erot­i­cism (expli­citly sexual images) and yet it is often implied that women’s sexual arousal arises from their loving emotions for their partner.

As if we are all as inno­cent as Snow White, it is rarely acknow­ledged that if women are to orgasm, they need to make conscious effort to occupy their minds with erotic thoughts (a process which happens much more subcon­sciously for the male mind).

Men’s minds become aroused so instant­an­eously that we gain the impres­sion that phys­ical stim­u­la­tion alone gives them an erec­tion (causes sexual arousal). Young men trans­ition natur­ally to sex because the body of a real sexual partner substi­tutes for the images from porno­graphic magazines. Imagine being a woman, who approaches sex with no hint of an erection!

Women do not react as men do to the sight of naked images (even a lover’s body). This is why women don’t pay men to do lap-dancing, pole-dancing or other sexu­ally provoc­ative teasing using their bodies. Women’s fantasies work well when alone but can be diffi­cult to relate to day-to-day sexual oppor­tun­ities because they are often based on quite surreal erotic scenarios.

Clit­oral stimulation

The only reason anyone would stim­u­late their genitals (casual curi­osity aside) is because they know that with suffi­cient levels of sexual arousal, genital stim­u­la­tion leads to orgasm. The average woman does not approach sex looking for clit­oral stim­u­la­tion because she is unlikely to be sexu­ally aroused enough for genital stim­u­la­tion to make sense.

A woman needs to know how to become mentally aroused before genital stim­u­la­tion by anyone (either them­selves or a partner) can be effective. For those women who do enjoy erot­i­cism, there is a chance that they will explore their own sexual arousal enough to discover masturb­a­tion and to make the connec­tion between genital stim­u­la­tion (of the clit­oris) and orgasm.

We know that women need clit­oral stim­u­la­tion for orgasm from female masturb­a­tion. But even during female masturb­a­tion, clit­oral stim­u­la­tion only works once a woman has achieved suffi­cient MENTAL AROUSAL by using sexual fantasies.

Even if a woman knows that she needs sexual fantasies to orgasm from female masturb­a­tion, she may well struggle with the same tech­niques during sex because of the mental focus required to reach orgasm through sexual fantasies alone.

Excerpt from Jane’s book Ways Women Orgasm (2011)

2 comments for “True female sexual arousal and orgasm

  1. Ben
    September 16, 2014 at 5:48 pm

    It is very simple and easy for any woman to reach orgasm with a partner (male). But very diffi­cult if she does not like him. If only she wants, then stim­u­la­tion will do the job.

    From exper­i­ence the first stim­u­la­tion should be the breast. Lightly kissing, licking and sucking the breast follow by harder sucking of the nipples but should not be too hard until it hurts. If you want to enjoy real fun, it takes some prac­tice and obser­va­tion to master this “simple” skill.

    Then comes the clit­oral stim­u­la­tion. Start by licking and then follow by lightly rubbing using the hand with some oil or water. Without that it might get hurts if you are older and less watery and when it is hurt, then there will be no more fun and not enjoy­able anymore. This also need some prac­tice to perfect the skill. This will make her jump up in great joy.

    And then finally the actual sexual inter­course which should be done in no hurry. I hope this way of sexual inter­course might help. From my exper­i­ence, the dog style is the best posi­tion for any woman to reach orgasm. But you have to consider other situ­ation like the man must be able to trust for long period to enable the woman to reach orgasm. In other posi­tion the woman may grab the man to prevent him from keep trusting when she is about to reach orgasm.

    I have been doing if for years with my partner. Hope this will help.

  2. Jane
    September 16, 2014 at 7:24 pm

    Hi Ben, Thanks for commenting. It is worth noting that for most women:

    1) Breast stim­u­la­tion does not lead to female orgasm (ref. Kinsey)
    2) Clit­oral stim­u­la­tion needs to be continued up to the point of orgasm (ref. Hite)
    3) The vagina is devoid of nerve endings and so masturb­a­tion (stim­u­la­tion of the clit­oris by woman or her parter) is likely to be a much easier source of female orgasms than inter­course (ref. Masters and Johnson)

    If you could encourage your partner to comment it would be much more valu­able to other women. Since many women fake orgasm, it is vital that women contribute to this forum rather than their partners.

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