Wikipedia is refreshingly realistic about the lack of factual evidence: “The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot, is a controversial term used to describe the area of the female vagina that might contain an erogenous zone which when stimulated can lead to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. Although research on the g-spot has taken place since 1981, arguments over its existence, the actual definition of the term, and its location continue to control discussions in the medical field as well as in studies of sexuality.“

Let’s take a look at our pelvic anatomy by focusing on the similarities between men and women. First, let’s tick off the anus. Men and women are identical here and both sexes can enjoy anal stimulation, given appropriate lubrication and a sensitive lover.

Next, we both have genitals (penis/clitoris) so oral and manual masturbation techniques can be effective for both sexes (note: mental arousal is needed before physical stimulation can be effective – this is crucial to understanding female sexuality since women’s sexual arousal is not as automatic as men’s tends to be).

There is also a difference in size of the genital organs. The male genitals – at least the parts we can see outside the body are much bigger. A man’s penis (when erect) must be a hundred times bigger than a woman’s clitoris…

Of course, inside is a different story. Both organs reach back into the pelvis and include muscles of the pelvic area of the body (basically in between the hips). When you are sexually aroused, the external organ becomes erect but also you have an erection of the muscles internal to the body (erectile tissue) that become engorged when a person is sexually aroused.

If you were to stimulate the person in this pelvic area when they are already engorged and physically aroused, this would stimulate their internal erection. For men you have to stimulate his internal erection through the anus because there is no other opening. In fact, there is also a male G-spot, which is the prostate gland and accessible by penetrating a man anally. Some women do enjoy sharing physical intimacy with a partner but even so I wonder how many women explore that one…

For a woman, you have two options. The anal option is similar to that for a man except women don’t have a prostate gland. There is also the option of stimulating her internal erection through her vagina. The vaginal opening is the one absolute difference between the sexes. However, unless you want a baby there is no need to be overly distracted by the vagina.

The vagina is part of the birth canal and so it has very few nerve endings. A woman is unlikely to be able to feel a man’s penis inside her even if he is built like a horse. Vaginal fisting is a misleading term since, for me at least, it does not necessarily involve putting the whole fist inside the vagina. My partner uses all the fingers of one hand to penetrate my vagina.

A number of women report having an orgasm during childbirth, which is presumably a similar experience to vaginal fisting. One woman told me about being semi-conscious during childbirth while on gas and air. She was not specific about what she felt but told me how embarrassed she was that she shouted out “It’s there – that’s the spot!” in front of her partner and mid-wives.

She said that neither she nor her partner had ever referred to this outburst afterwards. Given the context of the story I guessed that they never discussed their sexual relationship in detail or how she might enjoy her own sexual arousal.

I have only become aware of my own physical arousal (swollen and moist) since around my mid-thirties. I have also around this time experienced physical orgasms from vaginal fisting and from anal sex. Both would stimulate an internal erection and these experiences are the closest I have ever come to what other people may be calling a G-spot orgasm.

Scepticism and uncertainty speak for themselves. If every woman experiences G-spot orgasms as easily as is implied then no man would ever need to ask about giving his woman an orgasm. It evidently is not that easy and that is certainly my experience.

6 Comments »

1. Diagrams would help me a lot here. Also as a personal note I have Bicornuate Uterus, which is a defect before birth of my uteruses not growing completely together. My cervix and vagina are also doubled. However I did have the vaginal wall removed for tampon convenience. So if this effects my g spot, I’d like to know.

   Comment by im_ready — September 5, 2010 @ 9:56 am

2. Dear I’m ready,

   I really wouldn’t hold your breath over the G-spot. My partner and I have made various attempts to see if it exists but without luck.

   The G-spot was not every noticed before the 1980′s and if you look it up on Wikipedia they question whether it has ever existed (as I do).

   It’s important to remember that there is an amazing amount of hype (bull-shit) printed about sex. Politically there is immense pressure to prove that intercourse can lead to female orgasm despite all the known facts.

   Intercourse is designed for reproduction and female orgasm is not required for reproduction. It would be like a fairy tale come true for all of us if the magic that works for men could also work for women.

   Looked at logically though, men get penile stimualtion from intercourse whereas the clitoris is not easily stimulated. More importantly though, men approach sex alrady highly aroused and so genital stimulation works for them.

   As any man will tell you, if he doesn’t have an erection (fully aroused) then he has no hope of ever experiencing orgasm. This is why clitoral stimulation is often ineffective for women during sex. We just don’t get as aroused by the sight of a lover’s body as men tend to.

   Comment by Jane — September 5, 2010 @ 12:08 pm

3. How you find the G spot is simple, as the lovely lady stated so vividly(ha). She is basically correct, its inside the vagina just opposite the clitoris,(to give you an idea of how far to insert your finger (s),). Now gently rub the area and it will respond as will your partner. You will begin to feel the area swelling slightly, and feel sorta like velcro,(for lack of a better description). Contine this while gently increasing a little pressure and speed.She will have a wonderful orgasm.This is also how to make any woman ‘squirt’ as well. I have found that increasing your speed, she will most definately squirt. enjoy…

   Comment by stodd31995 — September 5, 2010 @ 4:12 pm

4. Thanks for your contribution.

   I have to say that after decades of exploring these phenomena, I have to conclude that there must be some women out there who just have different reactions to most of us.

   If the G-spot was easy to find or easy for women to enjoy there wouldn’t be thousands of articles on the web telling men how to satisfy their partner.

   Sorry to be skeptical but the facts are against the G-spot being useful to the majority of women.

   Comment by Jane — September 5, 2010 @ 5:38 pm

5. This is all very helpful information, and a few new things to try. However (I feel a bit silly asking this) I’m not entirely sure were my clitoris is even located. Things I have found so far is the tiny opening were I urinate, my vagina, and my anal opening. Since there is a lot of “hype” on the internet should I trust I diagram I find on google to further explain this?

   Comment by im_ready — September 5, 2010 @ 9:00 pm

6. To locate your clitoris stand either naked or wearing just panties with your legs slightly apart. Place your hands down between your legs over your crotch (where a man’s penis would be). If you press slightly and rub up and down you should feel some sensitivity.

   When naked take a mirror and look at this area (the hairy mound is called the vulva). In the middle of this area, lower down the first thing you come across is the clitoris. The clitoris (sometimes called a cherry perhaps because it resembles a large cherry stone) is protected by the labia (latin for lips). Buy a man’s porn magazine to see the wide variety of shapes and sizes of women’s genitals.

   The clitoris is as sensitive as the glans of the penis and is usually much too sensitive for direct touch to be pleasurable. When masturbating women stimulate the clitoris by rubbing over the top of the hood and around the labia. This is similar to men who do not touch the glans directly but use the skin of the penis to stimuate the glans indirectly.

   Comment by Jane — September 5, 2010 @ 11:13 pm

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