Ways Women Orgasm

Understanding the G-spot

The Gräfen­berg Spot, or G-Spot, has been surrounded by contro­versy ever since its ‘discovery’ only decades ago. Some women may have one about an inch or so (2-5cm) up in the front wall of the vagina.

The G-spot is believed to be an erogenous zone which when stim­u­lated can lead to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. Despite all the hype many couples struggle to find any evid­ence for its existence.

A recent (2010) study of 1,800 women in the Journal of Sexual Medi­cine has found no proof for it. The research team at King’s College, London suggest the G-spot may be a figment of women’s imagin­a­tion, encour­aged by magazines and sex ther­ap­ists. So what does that leave us with?

Let’s take a look at our pelvic anatomy by focusing on the simil­ar­ities between men and women. First, let’s tick off the anus. Men and women are identical here and both sexes can enjoy anal stim­u­la­tion, given appro­priate lubric­a­tion and a sens­itive lover.

Next, we both have genitals (penis/clitoris) so oral and manual masturb­a­tion tech­niques can be effective for both sexes (note: mental arousal is needed before phys­ical stim­u­la­tion can lead to orgasm — this is crucial to under­standing female sexu­ality since women’s sexual arousal is not as auto­matic as men’s tends to be).

There is also a differ­ence in size of the genital organs. The male genitals — at least the parts we can see outside the body are much bigger. A man’s penis (when erect) must be a hundred times bigger than a woman’s clitoris…

Of course, inside is a different story. Both organs reach back into the pelvis and include muscles of the pelvic area of the body (basic­ally in between the hips). When you are sexu­ally aroused, the external organ becomes erect but also you have an erec­tion of the muscles internal to the body (erectile tissue) that become engorged when a person is sexu­ally aroused.

If you were to stim­u­late the person in this pelvic area when they are already engorged and phys­ic­ally aroused, this would stim­u­late their internal erec­tion. For a man you have to stim­u­late his internal erec­tion through the anus because there is no other opening. In fact, there is also a male G-spot, which is the prostate gland and access­ible by penet­rating a man anally. Some women do enjoy sharing phys­ical intimacy with a partner but even so I wonder how many women explore that one…

For a woman, you have two options. The anal option is similar to that for a man except women don’t have a prostate gland. There is also the option of stim­u­lating her internal erec­tion through her vagina. The vaginal opening is the one abso­lute differ­ence between the sexes. However, unless you want a baby there is no need to be overly distracted by the vagina.

“The vagina of the female is not matched by any func­tioning struc­ture in the male, but it is of minimum import­ance in contrib­uting to the erotic response of the female. It may even contribute more to the sexual arousal of the male than it does to the arousal of the female.” (p592 Sexual beha­vior in the human female 1953)

The vagina is part of the birth canal and so it has very few nerve endings. A woman is unlikely to be able to feel a man’s penis inside her even if he is built like a horse.

I have only become aware of my own phys­ical arousal (swollen and moist) since around my mid-thirties. I have also around this time exper­i­enced phys­ical orgasms from vaginal fisting and from anal sex. Both would stim­u­late an internal erec­tion and these exper­i­ences are the closest I have ever come to what other people may be calling a G-spot orgasm.

Vaginal fisting is a misleading term since, for me at least, it does not neces­sarily involve putting the whole fist inside the vagina. My partner uses the fingers of one hand to penet­rate my vagina. Some women orgasm during child­birth, which is presum­ably a similar exper­i­ence to vaginal fisting.

The success of the G-spot myth is not simply down to men’s enthu­siasm for inter­course. To explain their orgasms during inter­course, women have also leapt on an altern­ative to the clit­oris. This illus­trates just how few women identify with clit­oral stim­u­la­tion and female masturbation.

Excerpt from Jane’s book Ways Women Orgasm (2011)

6 comments for “Understanding the G-spot

  1. Ellen Rathbone
    December 2, 2014 at 8:44 am

    Dr. Beverly Whipple of Rutgers Univer­sity did a study and wrote a fabulous book about 20 years ago called “The G Spot”. It exists.

  2. Jane
    December 2, 2014 at 9:05 am

    I think you are confusing the emotional aspects of inter­course with a loving partner and the erotic exper­i­ence of orgasm. Inter­course is simply an act of mating. No one can orgasm by having any part of their anatomy merely prodded. Men only last a couple of minutes anyway and women need longer than this for orgasm. Women promote the G-spot because they prefer to rely on men’s sex drive rather than act on their own motiv­a­tion to enjoy orgasm through clit­oral stimulation.The clit­oris is the female sex organ.

  3. Ellen Rathbone
    December 2, 2014 at 3:35 pm

    No confu­sion. My husband learned how to hold back when he was 37. His first wife didn’t demand that he become more respons­ible in his reac­tions. But I wouldn’t marry him if he continued with ‘hair trigger trouble’. So after a little Pleasure Balm, some excel­lent reading material (Extended Sexual Orgasm) and about 2 weeks of the Squeeze Tech­nique, he relearned the habit of orgasm and can now hold back until his loving conscien­tious side has expressed itself adequately and I’ve had plenty of time to get mine. Also, the clit­oris for most women is their sole organ for pleasure, but only because they cannot see and have not been instructed about the GSpot.

  4. Jane
    December 2, 2014 at 4:05 pm

    Why do only hetero­sexual women need a man to have an erec­tion before they can have an orgasm? Why are so few women confident to talk about orgasm and only sex ther­ap­ists talk of the G-spot? Inter­course is a mating act initi­ated by the male in order to impreg­nate the female. I am not inter­ested in trying to convince everyone but only in providing inform­a­tion to women who ques­tion why so many women fake orgasm and why so many hetero­sexual women (and couples) are unaware of the role of the clitoris.

  5. Ellen Rathbone
    December 2, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    You’re pretty funny, you know that? Your message actu­ally made me laugh out loud! Your limited sexual exper­i­ence with a man who is a prema­ture ejac­u­lator is your cross to bear. And although you’re trying to come up with a reason why so many women fake orgasms: it’s because they want to appear sexu­ally confident, easily pleased, and in that, desir­able to their partner. Both male and female have the ability for double header orgasms. For the male it is a combin­a­tion of penis and prostate, for the female it is the clit­oris and G Spot. There is no doubt that the clit­oris is the seat of phys­ical pleasure for 95% of women. (Only 5% of women ever have a vaginal orgasm with any kind of regu­larity). So my sugges­tions to you are try doing about 300 Kegels a day to tone, tighten, and sens­itize that vagina of yours, get a powerful, hard plastic, tilted head vibrator, place it 1 1/2 inches up on the front center wall of the vagina (on the area that feels slightly lumpier as opposed to the rest of the vaginal wall which is smooth) use lots of juicy lubricant, and discover some­thing about your­self. Once you’ve had a vaginal orgasm, you’ll never look back. I wish you the best in your adventure.

  6. Jane
    December 2, 2014 at 8:16 pm

    Ellen, Your superior tone says it all. You are not trying to help anyone but simply promote your own ego (and your own sex therapy busi­ness). The G-spot was only invented in 1981 — why was it discovered (and promoted) by the sex industry rather than by couples?

    Why do only women (and not men) need special­ised know­ledge and tech­niques in order to exper­i­ence a normal and natural response? The pres­sure on men to delay their orgasm is implicit acknow­ledge­ment that they are natur­ally more responsive than women are.

    You talk about men’s control over their respons­ive­ness as if it were akin to toilet training. What proof do you have that every man can exert this kind of control over his respons­ive­ness? A 37 year old man might be able to delay orgasm but what about younger men?

    You suggest that only 5% of women exper­i­ence the G-spot. Your deri­sion for other women seems to imply that they are either stupid or ignorant. But what proof do you have that all women will be able to exper­i­ence this amazing phenomenon? It seems strange to me that women have to read a whole book or pay a ther­apist to benefit from this technique.

    You suggest women use a vibrator — what did they do before vibrators were invented? This is clearly a ploy to make men feel inad­equate. There is nothing sexy about a piece of plastic. It is the mind behind the penis that makes men much more exciting to interact with than a sex toy.

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