Ways Women Orgasm

Women’s psychological sexual arousal

Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen ‘natur­ally’ or with the assist­ance of a loving partner.

No one needs to tell men how their sexual arousal works. Boys exper­i­ence spon­tan­eous erec­tions so that male masturb­a­tion is inev­it­able. Girls do not develop the same genital focus and so they end up confusing the emotions of sex with true sexual arousal and orgasm. Since many women never discover orgasm through masturb­a­tion, they have no way of knowing what it is or how to achieve it.

Men’s easy arousal leads to the miscon­cep­tion that sexual arousal relies purely on PHYSICAL stim­u­la­tion. Yet anyone who is familiar with orgasm will know that genital stim­u­la­tion only works if there is accom­pa­nying PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal.

So although it is often implied that a woman can become sexu­ally aroused during sex through phys­ical stim­u­la­tion, it is highly unlikely that clit­oral stim­u­la­tion alone will lead to female orgasm unless a woman first knows how to achieve the kind of psycho­lo­gical arousal that causes genital stim­u­la­tion to lead to orgasm.

A woman learns from masturb­a­tion that her sexual arousal arises from an appre­ci­ation of erot­i­cism through sexual fantasies. When her psycho­lo­gical state of arousal reaches a peak, synchron­ised with explicit stim­u­la­tion of the clit­oris, she is able to reach orgasm. In other words, psycho­lo­gical sexual arousal is not an optional extra but a neces­sary prerequisite in order for a person to enjoy orgasm.

After all the role of the clit­oris (as the female sex organ) was iden­ti­fied, not from women’s exper­i­ence of sex but, from their exper­i­ence of masturb­a­tion. Whereas men use EROTIC IMAGES during masturb­a­tion, women use EROTIC STORIES (involved psycho­lo­gical and sexu­ally explicit scen­arios) to achieve the levels of mental arousal needed for orgasm.

A woman is likely to have much greater diffi­culty trans­fer­ring her sexual fantasies to sex with a partner than men typic­ally have with images. The psycho­lo­gical and emotional context of masturb­a­tion alone is so different to ‘making love’ with a partner that a woman may never even consider using fantasy during sex. Women, whose fantasies have a relat­ively kinky psycho­lo­gical context to them (as many do — usually quite surreal), often find it diffi­cult to relate these to real life sexual activity with a partner.

Another reason women may find it diffi­cult to transfer their fantasies from masturb­a­tion alone to sex is because achieving the arousal to reach orgasm from fantasy alone requires a high degree of mental focus. Not only can this be diffi­cult to do in the pres­ence of another person, even a lover, but such a mental block-out is often incom­pat­ible with ‘making love’ to a partner.

Men’s psycho­lo­gical trans­ition from masturb­a­tion to sex is easy because their arousal comes, in part, from an appre­ci­ation of their partner’s sexual attrib­utes, which is a natural substi­tute for images. But it doesn’t make sense to assume that women can find a partner’s naked body arousing enough for orgasm during sex when they don’t use images during masturbation.

Since relat­ively few women masturbate, many women are unfa­miliar with orgasm through genital stim­u­la­tion. They prefer to limit their sexual exper­i­ences to vaginal inter­course. Consequently, although few men would attempt to reach orgasm without stim­u­lating their penis, many experts still assert that clit­oral stim­u­la­tion is not needed for a woman to orgasm during sex.

If men need to use tech­niques, including erot­i­cism for arousal and genital stim­u­la­tion for orgasm, then it is highly likely that women might need to use similar orgasm tech­niques if they are to exper­i­ence orgasm. Conversely, if we truly believe that women achieve orgasm without the arousal tech­niques (psycho­lo­gical and phys­ical stimuli) and learning processes (masturb­a­tion) that men typic­ally employ then women would have to be consid­er­ably MORE sexual than men are.

Excerpt from Jane’s book Ways Women Orgasm (2011)

2 comments for “Women’s psychological sexual arousal

  1. admin
    November 3, 2014 at 8:00 am

    There are a few easy ways to make us roar deep on the inside and most of them aren’t even sexual.” … Read on: 10 things that turn women on

  2. ZainRiaz
    November 3, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    i feel really good to read your stories .. good research ..

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