Pam, an attractive woman in her late forties, told me that she had never had a problem with sexual arousal and orgasm.
Misconceptions
Bluffers, fakers and sex surveys
The politics of sex
Sex often defies logic! Unfortunately discussions of female orgasm are typically aimed at providing turn-ons for men rather than being realistic accounts of how women truly orgasm.
Sexual desire
Women who fake orgasm
Men tell me how convinced they are that ALL their partners orgasm during sex. But that’s kind of what faking orgasm is about, isn’t it?
If it wasn’t convincing then what would be the point? Men should sleep with women who are less sexually experienced.
The politics of sex
Sexual desire
Kinsey shocked the world in the 1950s with his revelation that SOME women experience orgasm. The popular message became: all women ‘naturally’ orgasm during sex. But this was never true.
“In the later teens, when…
Modern sex advice
The truth about female sexuality
Sex is a difficult subject to analyse because it relies on our emotions rather than our powers of logical reasoning. How many women have been as interested in sex as I have been?
Having masturbated since the age of seventeen, I knew that orgasm was missing from sex. I consulted sex experts and had it confirmed that my partner and I are completely normal.
Misconceptions
Women who appear to want sexual pleasure
When I was 21, I met an Italian boy of the same age during a stay in Rome. Alfredo cared about how he dressed and would often check his appearance in the mirror.
I teased him because I had always been taught that personal vanity was undesirable.
Sexual desire
Young and sexy
A young and sexy woman complained about the male attention she got every time she left the hostel on 42nd Street, Manhattan, dressed in her high heels and low cleavage. Yes, well… It is relatively easy for a woman to attract a man’s attention by enhancing her looks.
It is more difficult for her to cash in on the advantage by enjoying orgasm during sex.
Modern sex advice
Explanations for women’s sexual arousal
Some people assert confidently that women orgasm easily during sex. Yet, when I ask for details, the responses are frustratingly vague and defensive.
Many people assume that all women ‘naturally’ orgasm during sex. I have been advised to read a sex manual as if only extreme ignorance can explain a lack of orgasm.