Saturday, January 19, 2019
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What real women say

Reality versus fiction. What real women say about sex and orgasm is very different to how women’s responsiveness is portrayed in pornography and other erotic fiction.

Sex is associated with reproduction and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejaculation which leads to reproduction but female orgasm is not required for a woman to become pregnant. So it's at least possible that women may experience sexual pleasure (including sexual desire, sexual arousal and orgasm) differently to men. Men discover orgasm at a young age but women...
Shere Hite identified two main approaches that women used to increase clitoral stimulation and their chances of orgasm during intercourse. They either maximised DIRECT clitoral stimulation by using masturbation during sex or they used positions and techniques for sexual intercourse that maximised INDIRECT clitoral stimulation caused by the penis thrusting into the vagina. “... orgasm is most likely to come...
Men's sexual arousal is usually easy, which gives them a natural advantage. As a consequence, while men can usually hope for orgasm from their sexual encounters, most women have to settle for the more diffused sensations of sexual arousal. “Sex is a very different experience for women and men. A man experiences pleasure primarily as a release of sexual tension....
Sexual desire is associated with ‘sex drive’. The male sex drive is a man’s biological drive to procreate by thrusting into a woman’s vagina until ejaculation (usually co-incident with male orgasm). Before the sexual revolution a woman was seen to have a complementary (not identical) sexual role to men in terms of accepting a man's sexual advances. So a woman...
Graphs are not very exciting concepts but nevertheless they can be useful. Imagine the male orgasm graph which looks a little like a vertical phallic symbol. Then imagine the female orgasm graph which looks like the outline of a woman's vulva. The male experience is shorter but more intense. The female experience is longer but lower overall. My experience of...
On relating our experience to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to difficulties that were perhaps transient. I told Linda, a mother of three in her late forties, that I had never had an orgasm during intercourse. Linda looked at me incredulously and laughed as if I must be ignorant of the most basic...
The naked male body can be a beautiful sight and yet our heterosexual society is dominated by images of women's bodies. The ancient Greeks were more relaxed about homosexuality and statues indicate their appreciation of the sensual male nude. Gay men certainly appreciate the naked male, including male genitals but women are often offended by nudity, especially genitals, and so...