Monday, October 22, 2018
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What real women say

Reality versus fiction. What real women say about sex and orgasm is very different to how women’s responsiveness is portrayed in pornography and other erotic fiction.

Reading the word ‘sexy’, a boy of nine screwed up his face in a gesture of disgust and said “Yuck!”. I asked him why and he replied, “Because my parents told me it’s disgusting”. Presumably these parents are trying to warn their son away from the temptations of sexual pleasure with its associated immoral behaviour. For women, there has always...
Unless they masturbate, most women are unaware that clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm. Equally, they are unaware that before genital stimulation can be effective, a person needs to know how to achieve true sexual arousal, which depends on an appreciation of eroticism (images for men; scenarios for women). From puberty onwards men's sexual arousal (as evidenced by an...
I'm sure that men will understand the point. We express our sexuality through two basic phenomena: Firstly, enjoying our own PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal by appreciating eroticism; and Secondly, bringing our sexual arousal to orgasm by PHYSICAL stimulation of the genitals. Yet many women are shocked by eroticism (whether visual or verbal pornography, erotica or the concept of sexual fantasy) and equally shocked by...
Angela, a woman in her early twenties, was having relationship problems with her boyfriend of six months. She was upset that he enjoyed looking at other women. She got him to agree to stop buying pornographic magazines, which she found demeaning. ”Porn to men is not a big deal. They honestly can’t see how watching a sexy film can be...
In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex. I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little in the end.” (Note: this film was set in the days before supermarkets...
I have never seen any reason to be embarrassed about my body. I am pretty. I have sensual skin that browns easily and a sexy figure. My parents were always relaxed about nudity. So when I was eighteen, out in the South of France for the summer, I enjoyed going top-less sunbathing. Why have those bikini lines that make your...