Shere Hite pointed out in 1976 that intercourse does not provide the specific clitoral stimulation that women need to orgasm. So, it is very likely that any woman who claims easy orgasm during intercourse is mistaken.
Especially given so few women masturbate and so most do not know what orgasm is. Women’s talk of the relationship and loving emotions also indicates a misunderstanding about the nature of
Many women talk about sexual arousal and orgasm in terms of their relationship. They describe their loving feelings for their partner and explain their sexual arousal in terms of the idea that their partner finds them attractive.
Masturbation has no meaning for them because, for such women, sex focuses on the emotional benefits of sharing physical intimacy with their man. It’s important not to judge other people’s experiences
Graphs are not very exciting concepts but nevertheless they can be useful. Imagine the male orgasm graph which looks a little like a vertical phallic symbol. Then imagine the female orgasm graph which looks like the outline of a woman’s vulva.
The male experience is shorter but more intense. The female experience is longer but lower overall. My experience of female masturbation is that the initial phase
Laura was educated and cultured but she also had a worldliness and the classy sex appeal that attracts the most ambitious men. In her early thirties, Laura told me that she had always been confident that she had orgasms during sex.
“…in regard to sexual responsiveness the female matures much later than the male.” (p126 Sexual behavior in the human female 1953)
When she was twenty-eight, a
If a woman is open-minded to the idea of exploring eroticism, she should start by reading some erotic literature. I suggest:
- ‘Emmanuelle’ by Emmanuelle Arsan: relates the sexual adventures of young women;
- ‘The Happy Hooker’ by Xaviera Hollander: describes the author’s experiences of pleasuring men as a high-class prostitute and the madam of a brothel; and
- ‘The Story of O’ by Pauline Reage: describes
In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex.
I think sex is like supermarkets, you know, overrated. Just a lot of pushing and shoving and you still come out with very little in the end.” (Note: this film was set in the days before supermarkets sold everything from clothes to microwaves!)
Becky explained via e-mail: “I had my first orgasm at 26 during masturbation – pretty late I know & since then no stopping me with the sex toys : ) . Plenty of my girlfriends have not though – and like you say, don’t seem too bothered about it which I can’t understand.”
Despite this evidence Becky was convinced that every woman must be interested in orgasm. Many