Judy married in the late 1950s; well before the average woman was informed about what a sexual relationship might involve. Judy’s aspirations were to provide a comfortable home for her family and to enjoy being a wife and a mother.
When I talked to her, Judy was in her mid-sixties with grown up children and a relationship of over 40 years. It was always doubtful whether she would understand
Sex is associated with pleasure (through sexual arousal and orgasm) as well as with reproduction (through family and relationships). However male and female sexuality are, often implicitly, defined differently in terms of the importance of the relationship aspects of sex.
For example, men are motivated to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm regardless of a relationship. So they enjoy masturbation and are willing to pay for both
When my partner and I decided to get married, his work-mates took him out for a beer to convince him that marriage would mean the end of his sex life.
Naturally no woman ever gave me similar advice. I accepted early on that a woman needs to invest in sex for her man’s sake. Even so, I was prepared to believe that there was something wrong with me
Everyone says “but it all works fine for other women”. My question is “How?”
Men have more testosterone. Men get turned on by anything that moves in a skirt with legs. All men naturally masturbate throughout their sexually active lives. They heckle, they ask women to dance, they proposition, etc. etc.
And women? They wait to be asked. Is this a sign of sex drive or
I approached my adult life in anticipation of a mutually enjoyable sex life. This optimism was fuelled by my love of erotic literature, which I read avidly as a teenager. I enjoyed exploring my sexual fantasies and by the age of seventeen I discovered orgasm through female masturbation.
When I had sex for the first time at the age of eighteen with a man I found attractive
I always enjoyed sharing physical intimacy with a lover but this is very different to achieving my own sexual arousal. I always knew that true sexual arousal was missing because I was familiar with orgasm from the very first time that I had sex. Very few women discover female masturbation so early in their life.
From the very early days, I appreciated the sensual aspects of
Research also indicates that for activities not involving men women take longer to orgasm. It is only when having sex with men that women are assumed to match male speeds to orgasm (two minutes on average).[i] Misconception #7: Because of the male experience, it is incorrectly assumed that women should orgasm more easily with a…