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My sex story

During adolescence, I read books that gave me both sexual knowledge and an insight into eroticism. So that even before I had sex for the first time, I had the impression that sex would be sensationally pleasurable. Erotic fiction showed women enjoying the same sexual arousal and easy orgasm during sex as men. I learnt about female masturbation from books.
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Female Masturbation

Women have to learn how their sexual arousal works

Some women appear to be so sheltered from the world of adult eroticism that one wonders if they have ever experienced sexual urges of...

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

Sexual Arousal

The mystery of female sexual arousal

In the film 'True Lies' (1994) Jamie Lee Curtis, as the dowdy housewife turned spy in the role of a prostitute, performs a sexy...

Confusion over female orgasm

When they talk about their sexual relationships with men, women will often refer to love, trust and commitment. These factors are obviously important for...

Emotional Initimacy

A man’s sexual arousal can be very flattering

In the early days of a romance, a man feels loved and needed through sex. A man’s sexual admiration for a woman makes her...

Clitoral Stimulation

What if female sexuality truly equalled male sexuality?

Imagine the scenario: a man and a woman facing each other, naked, in a world where men and women have an identical sex drive. So,...

The facts of female sexuality

Shere Hite pointed out in 1976 that intercourse does not provide the specific clitoral stimulation that women need to orgasm. So, it is very...

Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affectionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it's sex with a partner,...

Orgasm Techniques

Transferring masturbation techniques to sex

Caroline lived on a farm as a child and was fortunate in having innocent and light-hearted sexual experiences as she grew up. Even as...

Women’s psychological sexual arousal

Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen 'naturally' or with the assistance of a loving partner. No...

Sexual Fantasies

Women’s sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies

Real female orgasms involve the release of sexual emotions not romantic feelings. So it does not matter how much you love your partner, orgasm...

Enjoying Sex Play

How a woman can enjoy sex play

In the novelty of a new sexual relationship, I have explored a variety of sexual activities with a partner. So, in addition to vaginal...

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and...

Physical Intimacy

Why is sexual pleasure still taboo?

If sex is so equal then why would anyone need to pay for sex? Prostitution exists because men's drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot...

Sharing physical intimacy with a partner

I always enjoyed sharing physical intimacy with a lover but this is very different to achieving my own sexual arousal. I always knew that...

Understanding Men

The marvel of male sexuality

The film 'The Way We Were' (1973) stars Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford (the Brad Pitt of my mother's generation). She's the young woman from a...

Long-term sexual relationships

Why in our liberated times do women still accept ‘putting up with sex’ just to avoid being single? I am not judging anyone else’s...

Misconceptions

Women who appear to want sexual pleasure

When I was 21, I met an Italian boy of the same age during a stay in Rome. Alfredo cared about how he dressed...

Why it can be difficult to discuss our sexual relationships

One of the reasons that adults find it difficult to discuss sex openly is because of the personal nature of sex. It's important to...

Modern Sex Advice

How do women reach orgasm with a partner?

Everyone says "but it all works fine for other women". My question is "How?" Men have more testosterone. Men get turned on by anything that...

Bringing more realism to sex advice

It is natural that female sexuality is misrepresented by the media. We all watch films and read books in part to be entertained. We...

Sexual Desire

The sexual politics of female sexual desire

Although the modern day hype about female sexuality was in part sparked off by the work of Alfred Kinsey, the facts he reported have...