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During adolescence, I read books that gave me both sexual knowledge and an insight into eroticism. So that even before I had sex for the first time, I had the impression that sex would be sensationally pleasurable. Erotic fiction showed women enjoying the same sexual arousal and easy orgasm during sex as men. I learnt about female masturbation from books.

How we enjoy our best orgasms

Shere Hite identified two main approaches that women used to increase clitoral stimulation and their chances of orgasm during intercourse. They either maximised DIRECT...

How a woman can learn to masturbate

If a woman is open-minded to the idea of exploring eroticism, she should start by reading some erotic literature. I suggest: 'Emmanuelle' by Emmanuelle...

Sexual arousal during intercourse

When I had sex for the first time, I was disappointed because I had hoped that sex would be spontaneously arousing enough for me...

Women often assume sexual arousal during sex

Unless they masturbate, most women are unaware that clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm. Equally, they are unaware that before genital stimulation can...

Female sexuality in perspective

Humans are one of the few mammals known to have intercourse even when the female is not in estrus (the fertile period in the...

Real female orgasms

In the film ‘Private Benjamin’, a group of female army recruits sits around a campfire during an overnight exercise. One of the women says: “I...

Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affectionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it's sex with a partner,...

Most women are not aiming for orgasm through genital stimulation

Some women refer to 'making love' because the term more accurately describes their motives in terms of loving emotions rather than as an explicit...

Women’s sexual arousal tends to be assumed or overlooked

Much of what is known about female orgasm comes from women's experience of masturbation. Shere Hite’s work focused on female masturbation and the clitoris. As...

Why foreplay techniques don’t always work as we think they should

Foreplay has evolved as a means of compensating women for the lack of clitoral stimulation during intercourse. The concept behind foreplay techniques (including clitoral...

Women who use fantasy for sexual arousal

I have never been a romantic. But recently, I must have gone soft in the head because I now enjoy romantic dramas. I admire...

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and...

Women who enjoy their own sexual arousal

Perhaps it would be simpler if I explained that I am targeting women who masturbate regularly in order to enjoy their own sexual arousal...

Why is sexual pleasure still taboo?

If sex is so equal then why would anyone need to pay for sex? Prostitution exists because men's drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot...

Sharing physical intimacy with a partner

I always enjoyed sharing physical intimacy with a lover but this is very different to achieving my own sexual arousal. I always knew that...

Sex for life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....

Men hope a lover will enhance their sexual arousal

The sex industry (prostitution and pornography) is a clear indication that men’s desire to enjoy their own sexual arousal and orgasm cannot be satisfied...

Talking to women about female orgasm

Since the experts I talked to had no rational explanations, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I met in...

Taking the ego out of sex advice

Why do adults so often assume that they know everything about sex when most people have never even read a sex manual? Everyone is entitled...

Advice on female orgasm

Given the practical nature of sex (book-learning only gets you so far!) we tend to assume that sex experts have personal experience to support...

The problem with sex advice today

The suggestion is that female sexuality is identical to male sexuality. Yet women don't approach sex with the same genital erection (of the clitoris)...

Understanding female sexual desire

One of the misconceptions of the sexual revolution was the proposal that, for men and women to be equal, they had to be the...