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Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen 'naturally' or with the assistance of a loving partner. No one needs to tell men how their sexual arousal works. Boys experience spontaneous erections so...

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

Women have to learn how to orgasm

In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex. I think...

Understanding women’s sexual arousal

Sex is associated with reproduction and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejaculation which leads to reproduction but female orgasm is not...

Sexual arousal during intercourse

When I had sex for the first time, I was disappointed because I had hoped that sex would be spontaneously arousing enough for me...

How to get laid

Men should take comfort from the facts of female sexuality. Most women are unlikely to orgasm from intercourse alone (which provides insufficient clitoral stimulation...

Real female orgasms

In the film ‘Private Benjamin’, a group of female army recruits sits around a campfire during an overnight exercise. One of the women says: “I...

Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affectionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it's sex with a partner,...

The ‘non-genital’ female orgasm

In response to my suggestion that it was ridiculous to suggest that a man can give a woman an orgasm, a man wrote: "My wife...

Difficulties in applying orgasm techniques to sex

Women’s orgasm techniques leant from masturbation (including both clitoral stimulation and use of sexual fantasies) are not always as easy to transfer to sex...

Women’s psychological sexual arousal

Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen 'naturally' or with the assistance of a loving partner. No...

Reaching orgasm

Rose was a pretty woman even in her late forties. Despite being a mother and housewife she always achieved a classy presentation. Rose told me: “Although...

Lust is good

I suppose that I have been lucky. My sexual desire to enjoy my own sexual arousal and orgasm is evidently unusual for a woman. I...

Sexual relationships favour male orgasm

Let's discuss enjoying sex play (7)

Women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure

When I was growing up there was never any embarrassment over nudity at home. As divorcees, my parents naturally enjoyed sexual relationships with various...

Spice up your sex life

A young woman, who had promised her father that she would remain a virgin until a certain age, complied with his request by having...

Sex for life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....

Long-term sexual relationships

Why in our liberated times do women still accept ‘putting up with sex’ just to avoid being single? I am not judging anyone else’s...

Interpreting experiences of female orgasm

When a man is stimulated sexually by a partner he finds it difficult to avoid becoming aroused. Similarly, if a woman’s response to penile...

Is sexual arousal with a partner really so easy?

I approached my adult life in anticipation of a mutually enjoyable sex life. This optimism was fuelled by my love of erotic literature, which...

Defending the modern image of female sexuality

As a young woman I never understood why I did not experience sexual arousal as a natural part of my sexual relationship. Much later...

Sex advice for women is often misleading

Natalie, a woman in her late twenties, had a close relationship with her mother who was a doctor. I approached Natalie hoping that a...

Women have a lower sex drive

Men's sexual arousal is usually easy whereas women's sexual arousal and orgasm are not automatic so unsurprisingly sex tends to focus on male sexual...