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Why sexual arousal is more elusive for women

Sexual desire is associated with ‘sex drive’. The male sex drive is a man’s biological drive to procreate by thrusting into a woman’s vagina...
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Female Masturbation

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

How to use a vibrator to discover orgasm

Laura was educated and cultured but she also had a worldliness and the classy sex appeal that attracts the most ambitious men. In her...

Sexual Arousal

Sexual arousal during intercourse

When I had sex for the first time, I was disappointed because I had hoped that sex would be spontaneously arousing enough for me...

Women’s sexual arousal

Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense...

Emotional Initimacy

Sheltering young women from eroticism

Reading the word ‘sexy’, a boy of nine screwed up his face in a gesture of disgust and said “Yuck!”. I asked him why...

Clitoral Stimulation

What if female sexuality truly equalled male sexuality?

Imagine the scenario: a man and a woman facing each other, naked, in a world where men and women have an identical sex drive. So,...

Understanding the G-spot

The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot, has been surrounded by controversy ever since its ‘discovery’ only decades ago. Some women may have one about an...

The ‘non-genital’ female orgasm

In response to my suggestion that it was ridiculous to suggest that a man can give a woman an orgasm, a man wrote: "My wife...

Orgasm Techniques

Women’s psychological sexual arousal

Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen 'naturally' or with the assistance of a loving partner. No...

Transferring masturbation techniques to sex

Caroline lived on a farm as a child and was fortunate in having innocent and light-hearted sexual experiences as she grew up. Even as...

Sexual Fantasies

Women’s sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies

Real female orgasms involve the release of sexual emotions not romantic feelings. So it does not matter how much you love your partner, orgasm...

Enjoying Sex Play

Difficulty reaching orgasm during sex

The website 'Go Ask Alice!' confirms that it is likely to be difficult for a woman to reach orgasm through intercourse since the clitoris...

Sexual relationships favour male orgasm

Let's discuss enjoying sex play (7)

Physical Intimacy

How to pleasure a man

Tracy Cox (author of ‘Hot Sex’ 1998) tells the story of a woman who welcomes her partner home wearing a sexy nightdress, with champagne...

Some women do explore sexual pleasure

Slowly attitudes to sexual pleasure are changing and more couples are approaching their sex life with a willingness to try activities other than vaginal...

Understanding Men

Sex for life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....

Men’s sexual arousal is usually easy

Young men wake up each morning with an erection and have spontaneous erections throughout the day as sex-related thoughts occur to them or simply...

Misconceptions

Is sexual arousal with a partner really so easy?

I approached my adult life in anticipation of a mutually enjoyable sex life. This optimism was fuelled by my love of erotic literature, which...

Talking to women about female orgasm

Since the experts I talked to had no rational explanations, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I met in...

Modern Sex Advice

The problem with sex advice today

The suggestion is that female sexuality is identical to male sexuality. Yet women don't approach sex with the same genital erection (of the clitoris)...

Explanations for women’s sexual arousal

Some people assert confidently that women orgasm easily during sex. Yet, when I ask for details, the responses are frustratingly vague and defensive. Many people...

Sexual Desire

Women have a lower sex drive

Men's sexual arousal is usually easy whereas women's sexual arousal and orgasm are not automatic so unsurprisingly sex tends to focus on male sexual...