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My research

Standing in the street outside a sex clinic on London’s Harley Street, I paused a moment to consider: “What on earth am I doing here?” Well, quite simply I wanted to know why, despite being able to enjoy orgasm through masturbation since adolescence, I had never felt anything like the same sexual arousal during sex. Many women approach sex purely through their relationship.
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Female Masturbation

Comparing orgasm from female masturbation and with a partner

Graphs are not very exciting concepts but nevertheless they can be useful. Imagine the male orgasm graph which looks a little like a vertical...

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

Sexual Arousal

Understanding women’s sexual arousal

Sex is associated with reproduction and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejaculation which leads to reproduction but female orgasm is not...

Women’s sexual arousal

Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense...

Emotional Initimacy

A man’s sexual arousal can be very flattering

In the early days of a romance, a man feels loved and needed through sex. A man’s sexual admiration for a woman makes her...

Clitoral Stimulation

Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affectionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it's sex with a partner,...

Understanding the G-spot

The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot, has been surrounded by controversy ever since its ‘discovery’ only decades ago. Some women may have one about an...

How to orgasm

Shere Hite explained how women apply orgasm techniques in order to orgasm during intercourse. Women's sexual arousal and orgasm are not automatic and so...

Orgasm Techniques

Women’s sexual arousal tends to be assumed or overlooked

Much of what is known about female orgasm comes from women's experience of masturbation. Shere Hite’s work focused on female masturbation and the clitoris. As...

True female sexual arousal and orgasm

Any talk of sexual arousal and orgasm, usually focuses on women since men's sexual arousal and orgasm tend to be a given. It is unthinkable...

Sexual Fantasies

Women who use fantasy for sexual arousal

I have never been a romantic. But recently, I must have gone soft in the head because I now enjoy romantic dramas. I admire...

Enjoying Sex Play

How a woman can enjoy sex play

In the novelty of a new sexual relationship, I have explored a variety of sexual activities with a partner. So, in addition to vaginal...

Sexual relationships favour male orgasm

Let's discuss enjoying sex play (7)

Physical Intimacy

Sexual pleasure

Self-evidently there are ‘responsible’ aspects of sex as well as the ‘pleasurable’ but sexual ignorance is of no use to anyone. Young women today are...

Emotional intimacy may lead to physical intimacy

Sex does not stand alone in a relationship and in long-term sexual relationships couples need to invest in quality time together. The candle-lit dinners, soft...

Understanding Men

Sex for life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....

Holding men responsible for women’s sexual arousal

Men are often blamed, unfairly, for the difficulties that women have with orgasm during sex. For example, it is suggested that, by coming too...

Misconceptions

Sexual fact versus sexual fantasy

Imagine the scenario: a woman, wearing a skirt and no panties, climbs a ladder. A man below enjoys a clear view of her genitals....

Women who appear to want sexual pleasure

When I was 21, I met an Italian boy of the same age during a stay in Rome. Alfredo cared about how he dressed...

Modern Sex Advice

Bringing more realism to sex advice

It is natural that female sexuality is misrepresented by the media. We all watch films and read books in part to be entertained. We...

Explanations for women’s sexual arousal

Some people assert confidently that women orgasm easily during sex. Yet, when I ask for details, the responses are frustratingly vague and defensive. Many people...

Sexual Desire

How female sexuality differs to male sexuality

Many heterosexuals like the fact that the opposite sex is fundamentally different. Both our sexuality and our emotional responses differ. Men are macho, sometimes a little insensitive, largely disinterested in how they look, social issues or children.