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The film 'The Way We Were' (1973) stars Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford (the Brad Pitt of my mother's generation). She's the young woman from a humble background driven by political ideals; he's the young man from a privileged family who...

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

Women have to learn how to orgasm

In the film ‘Shirley Valentine’ (1989), Pauline Collins plays Shirley, a middle-aged housewife. Shirley comments: “I’m not particularly fond of it – sex. I think...

Confusion over female orgasm

When they talk about their sexual relationships with men, women will often refer to love, trust and commitment. These factors are obviously important for the...

Women’s sexual arousal

Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense...

Women settle for emotional intimacy over sexual arousal

On relating our experience to others, we all tend to gloss over details or not own up to difficulties that were perhaps transient. I told...

Women’s sexual dysfunction

Although many sources refer to women's 'sexual dysfunction', it is rare to find a definition of what is supposed to be sexually ‘normal’ for...

What if female sexuality truly equalled male sexuality?

Imagine the scenario: a man and a woman facing each other, naked, in a world where men and women have an identical sex drive. So,...

The facts of female sexuality

Shere Hite pointed out in 1976 that intercourse does not provide the specific clitoral stimulation that women need to orgasm. So, it is very...

Transferring masturbation techniques to sex

Caroline lived on a farm as a child and was fortunate in having innocent and light-hearted sexual experiences as she grew up. Even as...

Women’s psychological sexual arousal

Even today, female sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Female orgasm is assumed to happen 'naturally' or with the assistance of a loving partner. No...

Reaching orgasm

Rose was a pretty woman even in her late forties. Despite being a mother and housewife she always achieved a classy presentation. Rose told me: “Although...

Why sex is fun

If the male sex drive only involved a desire for orgasm, then men would be happy settling for masturbation instead of sex. No doubt...

Lust is good

I suppose that I have been lucky. My sexual desire to enjoy my own sexual arousal and orgasm is evidently unusual for a woman. I...

Women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure

When I was growing up there was never any embarrassment over nudity at home. As divorcees, my parents naturally enjoyed sexual relationships with various...

Why is sexual pleasure still taboo?

If sex is so equal then why would anyone need to pay for sex? Prostitution exists because men's drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot...

Holding men responsible for women’s sexual arousal

Men are often blamed, unfairly, for the difficulties that women have with orgasm during sex. For example, it is suggested that, by coming too...

Sex for life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....

Talking to women about female orgasm

Since the experts I talked to had no rational explanations, I decided to do my own research by talking to women I met in...

Bluffers, fakers and sex surveys

Pam, an attractive woman in her late forties, told me that she had never had a problem with sexual arousal and orgasm. She started...

What sex experts have told me

When my partner and I decided to get married, his work-mates took him out for a beer to convince him that marriage would mean...

Sex advice for women is often misleading

Natalie, a woman in her late twenties, had a close relationship with her mother who was a doctor. I approached Natalie hoping that a...

A sexual relationship

Judy married in the late 1950s; well before the average woman was informed about what a sexual relationship might involve. Judy’s aspirations were to provide...