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My research

Standing in the street outside a sex clinic on London’s Harley Street, I paused a moment to consider: “What on earth am I doing here?” Well, quite simply I wanted to know why, despite being able to enjoy orgasm through masturbation since adolescence, I had never felt anything like the same sexual arousal during sex. Many women approach sex purely through their relationship.
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Female Masturbation

Women’s sex drive to orgasm during sex

Becky explained via e-mail: “I had my first orgasm at 26 during masturbation - pretty late I know & since then no stopping me...

Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a relationship counsellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to positively encourage female masturbation. She did not give her reasons. “Many...

Sexual Arousal

Women’s sexual arousal

Published in 1972, ‘Joy of Sex’ by Alex Comfort MD was revolutionary at the time because it suggested a new openness and a sense...

Women often assume sexual arousal during sex

Unless they masturbate, most women are unaware that clitoral stimulation is needed for female orgasm. Equally, they are unaware that before genital stimulation can...

Emotional Initimacy

A man’s sexual arousal can be very flattering

In the early days of a romance, a man feels loved and needed through sex. A man’s sexual admiration for a woman makes her...

Clitoral Stimulation

How to orgasm

Shere Hite explained how women apply orgasm techniques in order to orgasm during intercourse. Women's sexual arousal and orgasm are not automatic and so...

The facts of female sexuality

Shere Hite pointed out in 1976 that intercourse does not provide the specific clitoral stimulation that women need to orgasm. So, it is very...

Most women are not aiming for orgasm through genital stimulation

Some women refer to 'making love' because the term more accurately describes their motives in terms of loving emotions rather than as an explicit...

Orgasm Techniques

Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse

Shere Hite explained in the 1970s how the women in her surveys reached orgasm during sex. She compared women’s success with orgasm during masturbation...

Lack of orgasm is not a sexual dysfunction

It is often suggested that a lack of female orgasm during sex is a sign of sexual dysfunction but the truth is that this...

Sexual Fantasies

How to enjoy your sexual fantasies

Women use clitoral stimulation during female masturbation but that's just dessert. Main course is achieving sexual arousal though sexual fantasies. Many women never learn...

Enjoying Sex Play

Difficulty reaching orgasm during sex

The website 'Go Ask Alice!' confirms that it is likely to be difficult for a woman to reach orgasm through intercourse since the clitoris...

Making the most of sex play

Overall my partner and I have been lucky to have enjoyed exploring eroticism and sex play together. Sure we have had our ups and...

Physical Intimacy

Women who want to enjoy sexual pleasure

When I was growing up there was never any embarrassment over nudity at home. As divorcees, my parents naturally enjoyed sexual relationships with various...

Why is sexual pleasure still taboo?

If sex is so equal then why would anyone need to pay for sex? Prostitution exists because men's drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot...

Understanding Men

The marvel of male sexuality

The film 'The Way We Were' (1973) stars Barbra Streisand and Robert Redford (the Brad Pitt of my mother's generation). She's the young woman from a...

Sex for life

One great aspect of men growing older is that they become slightly less obsessed with their own sexual arousal and need for sexual release....

Misconceptions

Bluffers, fakers and sex surveys

Pam, an attractive woman in her late forties, told me that she had never had a problem with sexual arousal and orgasm. She started...

Taking the ego out of sex advice

Why do adults so often assume that they know everything about sex when most people have never even read a sex manual? Everyone is entitled...

Modern Sex Advice

Defending the modern image of female sexuality

As a young woman I never understood why I did not experience sexual arousal as a natural part of my sexual relationship. Much later...

What sex experts have told me

When my partner and I decided to get married, his work-mates took him out for a beer to convince him that marriage would mean...

Sexual Desire

Sexual promiscuity

Renate, a student of twenty-six, liked to be affectionate with her male friends but then was bewildered when they interpreted her hugs as a...