Tag Archives: Female masturbation

What sex experts have told me

When my partner and I decided to get married, his work-mates took him out for a beer to convince him that marriage would mean the end of his sex life.

Natur­ally no woman ever gave me similar advice. I accepted early on that a woman needs to invest in sex for her man’s sake. Even so, I was prepared to believe that there was some­thing wrong with me Continue reading

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How to use a vibrator to discover orgasm

Laura was educated and cultured but she also had a world­li­ness and the classy sex appeal that attracts the most ambi­tious men. In her early thirties, Laura told me that she had always been confident that she had orgasms during sex.

…in regard to sexual respons­ive­ness the female matures much later than the male.” (p126 Sexual beha­vior in the human female 1953)

When she was twenty-eight, a Continue reading

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Comparing orgasm from female masturbation and with a partner

Graphs are not very exciting concepts but never­the­less they can be useful. Imagine the male orgasm graph which looks a little like a vertical phallic symbol. Then imagine the female orgasm graph which looks like the outline of a woman’s vulva.

The male exper­i­ence is shorter but more intense. The female exper­i­ence is longer but lower overall. My exper­i­ence of female masturb­a­tion is that the initial phase Continue reading

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How to enjoy your sexual fantasies

Women use clit­oral stim­u­la­tion during female masturb­a­tion but that’s just dessert. Main course is achieving sexual arousal though sexual fantasies. Many women never learn how to enjoy these.

The first step in devel­oping sexual fantasies is for a woman to read erotic stories without any goal except relax­a­tion and enjoyment.

I started reading erotica around the age of 14. Initially I enjoyed the stories for Continue reading

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Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a rela­tion­ship coun­sellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to posit­ively encourage female masturb­a­tion. She did not give her reasons.

“Many women think of masturb­a­tion as unnat­ural and disgusting and a complete waste of time, and don’t under­stand why anybody does it and are unsym­path­etic to the view that people might continue to do it even though they have sexual part­ners. The majority Continue reading

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A sexual relationship

Judy married in the late 1950s; well before the average woman was informed about what a sexual rela­tion­ship might involve. Judy’s aspir­a­tions were to provide a comfort­able home for her family and to enjoy being a wife and a mother.

When I talked to her, Judy was in her mid-sixties with grown up chil­dren and a rela­tion­ship of over 40 years. It was always doubtful whether she would under­stand Continue reading

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How do women achieve sexual arousal during sex?

Some women happily accept the modern media’s portrayal of women as complete sexual beings, for whom spon­tan­eously orgasmic sex is as much of a given as it is for a man.

Other women find that orgasms do not ‘just happen’. Pres­sure to find answers comes not only from the woman who hopes to enjoy what is supposed to be mutual sexual pleasure but also from her partner who Continue reading

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Women’s sex drive to orgasm during sex

Becky explained via e-mail: “I had my first orgasm at 26 during masturb­a­tion — pretty late I know & since then no stop­ping me with the sex toys : ) . Plenty of my girl­friends have not though — and like you say, don’t seem too bothered about it which I can’t understand.”

Despite this evid­ence Becky was convinced that every woman must be inter­ested in orgasm. Many Continue reading

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Arousal comes from appreciating eroticism

Our ability to become sexu­ally aroused through an appre­ci­ation of erot­i­cism is a normal as well as a neces­sary part of human sexu­ality. Sex (male arousal and orgasm in partic­ular) leads to family and yet hypo­crit­ic­ally, while family is encour­aged, sex remains taboo.

Young boys learn about orgasm through masturb­a­tion because an erect penis is diffi­cult to ignore. Girls do not exper­i­ence spon­tan­eous sexual arousal and so Continue reading

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How do women reach orgasm with a partner?

Everyone says “but it all works fine for other women”. My ques­tion is “How?”

Men have more testosterone. Men get turned on by anything that moves in a skirt with legs. All men natur­ally masturbate throughout their sexu­ally active lives. They heckle, they ask women to dance, they propos­i­tion, etc. etc.

And women? They wait to be asked. Is this a sign of sex drive or Continue reading

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