Ways Women Orgasm

Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse

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Shere Hite explained in the 1970s how the women in her surveys reached orgasm during sex. She compared women’s success with orgasm during masturbation to their experience of intercourse and concluded that the difference was due to lack of clitoral stimulation.

“To have an orgasm during intercourse, there are two ways a woman can increase her chances always remembering that she is adapting her body to less than adequate stimulation.

(1) First and most important, she must consciously try to apply her masturbation techniques to intercourse, or experiment to find out what else may work for her to get clitoral stimulation; or,

(2) she can work out a sexual relationship with a particular man who can meet her individual needs.” (p51 The Hite Reports 1993)

Shere Hite categorised only women who did not manually stimulate the clitoris during sex as able to reach orgasm from intercourse alone. She concluded that these women were able to orgasm during intercourse because they took steps to ensure that they maximised the effects of indirect clitoral stimulation (from the action of the penis thrusting in the vagina) by finding suitable positions and techniques for intercourse.

Some women learn to reach orgasm from intercourse eventually

Liz, an attractive professional woman in her late forties, was confident in offering me advice. She told me to buy Alex Comfort’s book ‘Joy of Sex’ (1972) and that “everything else would follow”. She and her partner had found a position for intercourse that made it possible for her to reach orgasm. They had found this position after a number of years not by explicit discussion but through trial and error. Liz confirmed that she used sexual fantasies during sex for sexual arousal and orgasm.

“For a woman to orgasm during intercourse, she must adapt her body to inadequate stimulation and so it is essential that she work out this procedure with a regular partner.” (p49 The Hite Reports 1993)

Of the women I talked to, those who told me they experienced orgasms during sex were often dismissive of female masturbation. Without the experience of orgasm from masturbation, a woman accepts sex without orgasm. If over time, she does eventually find a way to make intercourse orgasmic then she only stands to be pleasantly surprised. Since these women have no other sexual outlet, if they are ever to enjoy indulging their sexual instincts it has to be during sex with a partner.

Few men would settle for the indirect genital stimulation that women obtain from intercourse alone. So why are women happy to settle for less? Possible conclusions are (1) perhaps men have become de-sensitised through the need for prolonged thrusting or (2) women, but only some, have evolved the ability to orgasm with less genital stimulation than men need. A more likely explanation is the tremendous pressure that women are under to explain how they orgasm during vaginal intercourse.

“Twenty-five to 30 percent of women climax without additional clitoral stimulation. Experts believe these women may have a larger clitoris than usual so it’s more easily ‘rubbed’ by a thrusting penis.” (p101 Hot Sex – 1998)

Liz was not relaxed discussing sex and admitted that she was unenthusiastic about female masturbation. Ten or more years into a relationship, many couples will be in their thirties. The man, perhaps less trigger-happy, may be able to spend longer stimulating his partner through thrusting. The woman may find that her body is more receptive to being aroused. A healthy amount of ‘inhibited’ under-the-covers sex (with the lights off) would actually facilitate a woman’s use of sexual fantasies.

Excerpt from Ways Women Orgasm (ISBN 978−095689−4700 published 2011)

2 comments for “Positions and techniques for sexual intercourse

  1. mona37
    March 26, 2015 at 6:40 pm

    this is all great info- i mean i know i keep saying this to you, but seriously with every story, it just seems to be educating me more, even things i prolly knew off but was just buried somewhere deep within, and you helped me dig it all out to the surface!

  2. Jane
    March 26, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    Thanks Mona37.

    I find with this stuff that you have to keep going over it again and again. Unfortunately the misleading images from the world around cause us to question our own experiences and conclusions.

    I mean I’m a woman and sometimes I still can’t believe that so much that is said about women’s sexuality is just hype. It feels as if women are so often working against each other on this…

    It’s really important to focus on the facts and the logic of what is likely to be possible rather than hoping for some fantasy that doesn’t exist. Reality is all that we have to work with at the end of the day.

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