Ways Women Orgasm

Sexual fact versus sexual fantasy

Imagine the scenario: a woman, wearing a skirt and no panties, climbs a ladder. A man below enjoys a clear view of her genitals. Imagine now that the genders are reversed: my point is that a woman is unlikely to appreciate the view in the same way that a man does.

Of course, someone will always disagree. A man said: “It depends from woman to woman, because if they want a quickie they like to take a look at your nakedness. “Drop your pants” was an order I got from a girlfriend once in Brisbane who was a Buddhist, when she saw the size of me she stripped and said ‘try to satisfy me – you are very big’ and I did. Second time I got that order was before I married in Tagbilaran. My now wife laid down and said: ”Let’s see how big you are – the bigger the better”, that was before we got married and she went mad for me.”

Men must think that women were born yesterday. Of course a sexually experienced woman appreciates the turn-on for a man if she emulates male sexual reactions. It is also a fact that many women fake orgasm.

“It is difficult for most males to comprehend that females are not aroused by seeing male genitalia. Some males never come to comprehend this.” (p657 Sexual behavior in the human female – 1953)

Women can enjoy many aspects of physical intimacy with a lover but we are not automatically aroused, the way men are, because our bodies are not full of the sex hormone, testosterone. Equally, we don’t get a hard-on (clitoral erection) by looking at male nudity: even the body and genitals of our partner. Otherwise women would pay for sex and the sight of the male body more than they do. No doubt there are women who pay for a male lap- or pole-dancer but, I think we all know, most would not.

If we are to accept the facts of female sexuality, we need to leave the sexual fantasy and look around the real world. Men may be able to imagine that sexually attractive young women are always on the brink of orgasm. But what about other women?

Do we think that a stunning man enjoys sex more or is more sexually driven than an ugly man? No. Even if a man is middle-aged, ugly, pigeon-chested or has a pot-belly, we know that he is just as likely to masturbate or pay for sex as the next guy. Similarly we know that, regardless of her looks, very few heterosexual women masturbate and almost none pay for sex.

Logic tells us that heterosexual women’s sexuality is the same whatever the age or attractiveness of the woman. The rest is just part of the sexual game that men fall for. After all, men and women play for different stakes – who pays the bill, for example?

Some people believe the sexual fantasy regardless of the evidence: “I must shake my head in wonder as to what women you have spent time with (or possibly they are VERY, very, young women who have not yet discovered their own sexuality). An older woman, say 30 to 55, is easily aroused. A well built man on a beach can absolutely stimulate a woman without her knowing him. Women are quite willing to ‘act like a whore’ in the bedroom and enjoy it, and as well they should, to the fullest.”

Women who take a pro-active sexual role are described as acting ‘like a whore’ precisely because not every woman behaves in this way. Few heterosexual men are paid for sex because men tend to be enthusiastic about sex whatever the circumstances.

Women are more concerned about commitment and trust than about orgasm. Presumably this is why is it so often suggested that women’s sexual arousal depends on her relationship with a lover or on the love-making skills of a particular lover.

Men have a much stronger sex drive than women so they want sex regardless of whether they are in a relationship. Men can enjoy sex with any attractive woman, even a prostitute. Also for many men, the only way they can enjoy the delights of oral sex, for example, is by paying because most wives and girlfriends are not willing to engage on such explicitly sexual activities.

Excerpt from Jane’s book Ways Women Orgasm (2011)

2 comments for “Sexual fact versus sexual fantasy

  1. Khanita rasheda
    June 23, 2017 at 8:56 am

    One instance i would like to share and wants to get clarified through your valuble information. A younger brother had a crush on his elder sister really not intentional but due to a psychological understanding,that her husband is not really having sex with his sister since from long time due to which that sister had been suffering with nervous disorders and full of anxiety due to improper muscle contraction and relaxation and was complaining to her brother about a type of shock in her abdomen and in thoracic region.
    So her brother felt and understood that because of not having intercourse with her husband and love making,she started complaining all this.being her brother and a well wisher of her had decided to make love with her sister and have intercourse for the sake of her sister he(brother) started seducing her because he was afraid to propose orally.so he exposed his genitals to her thinking that she might be seduced and may develop a desire of having intercourse with him to come out of her depression that she was in.but surprisingly she rejected the look and show of his genitals and started scolding him for his show of genitals.U tell in this case whos fault it is?? Brothers??or sisters???
    Brother irrespective of his relation to his sister thought of protecting his sis from nervous depression and other diseases was wrong??
    OR the sister who turned down the offer of having sex with her brother was wrong???? Please give your reply.please.iam waiting.

  2. Jane
    June 23, 2017 at 10:09 am

    Intercourse is a mating act whereby the male impregnates the female. A woman may be amenable to having intercourse with a man she has identified as a suitable mate. A brother would not fall into this category since any offspring would have an unhealthy mix of genes.

    Intercourse is very pleasurable for the male because his ejaculation (which follows his orgasm) is required to impregnate a female. But a woman feels almost nothing from intercourse. The vagina is inert but intercourse can be uncomfortable or even painful for women.

    The sister is quite correct in rejecting her brother’s sexual advances. This is called incest and is illegal around the world. Women are not comforted by intercourse and there is always a risk of pregnancy even if the man is a relative. You are seeing the whole situation from a male perspective. Sex is fun for men but a much more serious affair for women because of the pregnancy risk.

    But even so no woman enjoys a man displaying his genitals. It is the male who likes to expose his genitals and stimulate his genitals or have them stimulated by a lover. Women want to be kissed and cuddled. There are even some lesbians who have relationships for ten years or more before they engage in any genital stimulation.

    The brother is completely in the wrong and needs to find a more appropriate woman to have sex with. Someone who could be a potential mate. Hope this helps…

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