Why do adults so often assume that they know everything about sex when most people have never even read a sex manual?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but why do they have to flaunt their own sexual ego? Whatever our own personal views there is abso­lutely no need to express them in a way that belittles other people.

Despite their inex­per­i­ence, women can be supremely confident in offering advice: “I love sex and I am sure I love it just as much as men do. If you are not enjoying sex you need a new partner. You should be enjoying sex! … I have had many lovers which I completely and thor­oughly enjoyed wild, hot, passionate sex just for sex sake! “

If women were truly willing to be helpful, they would express their views with more humility. They make highly inflam­matory comments when, in truth, they know very little about sex. It is this arrogant and intim­id­ating approach that holds other people back from talking about sex.

Are such women even aware that orgasm exists? They talk about ‘enjoying’ sex but rarely about true female sexual arousal and orgasm. They are happy with their sexual exper­i­ences because sex totally fulfils their expect­a­tions. They never appre­ciate that some women approach sex with an expect­a­tion for orgasm.

I am discussing sex on a different and more ques­tioning level. For example, when I had sex for the first time I already knew how to masturbate myself to orgasm. Most women never learn how to masturbate, never mind how to orgasm during sex. Other women only learn about orgasm through masturb­a­tion much later. So they have nothing to compare sex with.

As recently as the 1950s (sex has been around for æons), society was shocked to the core when Alfred Kinsey proposed that women might even be capable of orgasm. So if orgasm is just as easy for women as it is for men, then it must be the best kept secret ever. Equally (if women orgasm easily) why is there so much advice on how a man can give his woman an orgasm?

Even today, with all the inform­a­tion we have, our liber­ated views and easy access to sexual part­ners my point is that it cannot be that every women in the world (or even just in western society) now exper­i­ences orgasm during sex. Most people still don’t even appre­ciate that the clit­oris is the female sex organ and the source of a woman’s orgasm however she claims to achieve it.

This is because clit­oral stim­u­la­tion only works once a woman is aroused enough in her mind for genital stim­u­la­tion to be effective. Even if a woman real­ises that her sexual arousal works through focusing on complex erotic scen­arios during female masturb­a­tion alone, it is much less intu­itive for her to even consider using similar orgasm tech­niques during sex with a partner.

Women who are claiming that it is all so easy need to start offering more factual substance to back their claims of orgasm. Any woman who knows anything about her own sexual arousal knows that women have to work up to sex. A woman who admits that arousal takes longer, for example, or that she has to work at achieving her own arousal is more credible.

It is a FACT that since very few women masturbate, by defin­i­tion, most women approach sex without any know­ledge of what orgasm feels like or how to achieve it. So they ASSUME that female orgasm occurs as easily as male orgasm does. The pleas­ures they enjoy during sex, whether sensual pleasure or sharing phys­ical intimacy, they attribute to arousal and orgasm.

Dating is easy because of the romance that often accom­panies sex. Try being married for ten to twenty years and many couples find that a good sex life requires a little invest­ment. Again if it all continues bliss­fully for you, great, but there’s no need to patronise others. You may think that you have all the answers but if you are to help others you will need to provide specifics.

“Our data suggest that there may be as many as two-thirds of the marriages which, at least on occa­sion in the course of the years, run into serious disagree­ment over sexual rela­tion­ships. In a consid­er­able number, there is constant disagree­ment over sexual rela­tion­ships. In perhaps three-quarters of the divorces recorded in our case histories, sexual factors were among those which had led to the divorce.” (p12 Sexual beha­vior in the human female 1953)