Understanding the G-spot

The Gräfenberg Spot, or G-Spot, has been surrounded by controversy ever since its ‘discovery’ only decades ago. Some women may have one about an inch or so (2-5cm) up in the front wall of the vagina.

The G-spot is believed to be an erogenous zone which when stimulated can lead to high levels of sexual arousal and powerful orgasms. Despite all the hype many couples struggle to find any evidence for its existence.

A recent (2010) study of 1,800 women in the Journal of Sexual Medicine has found no proof for it. The research team at King’s College, London suggest the G-spot may be a figment of women’s imagination, encouraged by magazines and sex therapists. So what does that leave us with?

Let’s take a look at our pelvic anatomy by focusing on the similarities between men and women. First, let’s tick off the anus. Men and women are identical here and both sexes can enjoy anal stimulation, given appropriate lubrication and a sensitive lover.

Next, we both have genitals (penis/clitoris) so oral and manual masturbation techniques can be effective for both sexes (note: mental arousal is needed before physical stimulation can lead to orgasm – this is crucial to understanding female sexuality since women’s sexual arousal is not as automatic as men’s tends to be).

There is also a difference in size of the genital organs. The male genitals – at least the parts we can see outside the body are much bigger. A man’s penis (when erect) must be a hundred times bigger than a woman’s clitoris…

Of course, inside is a different story. Both organs reach back into the pelvis and include muscles of the pelvic area of the body (basically in between the hips). When you are sexually aroused, the external organ becomes erect but also you have an erection of the muscles internal to the body (erectile tissue) that become engorged when a person is sexually aroused.

If you were to stimulate the person in this pelvic area when they are already engorged and physically aroused, this would stimulate their internal erection. For a man you have to stimulate his internal erection through the anus because there is no other opening. In fact, there is also a male G-spot, which is the prostate gland and accessible by penetrating a man anally. Some women do enjoy sharing physical intimacy with a partner but even so I wonder how many women explore that one…

For a woman, you have two options. The anal option is similar to that for a man except women don’t have a prostate gland. There is also the option of stimulating her internal erection through her vagina. The vaginal opening is the one absolute difference between the sexes. However, unless you want a baby there is no need to be overly distracted by the vagina.

“The vagina of the female is not matched by any functioning structure in the male, but it is of minimum importance in contributing to the erotic response of the female. It may even contribute more to the sexual arousal of the male than it does to the arousal of the female.” (p592 Sexual behavior in the human female 1953)

The vagina is part of the birth canal and so it has very few nerve endings. A woman is unlikely to be able to feel a man’s penis inside her even if he is built like a horse.

I have only become aware of my own physical arousal (swollen and moist) since around my mid-thirties. I have also around this time experienced physical orgasms from vaginal fisting and from anal sex. Both would stimulate an internal erection and these experiences are the closest I have ever come to what other people may be calling a G-spot orgasm.

Vaginal fisting is a misleading term since, for me at least, it does not necessarily involve putting the whole fist inside the vagina. My partner uses the fingers of one hand to penetrate my vagina. Some women orgasm during childbirth, which is presumably a similar experience to vaginal fisting.

The success of the G-spot myth is not simply down to men’s enthusiasm for intercourse. To explain their orgasms during intercourse, women have also leapt on an alternative to the clitoris. This illustrates just how few women identify with clitoral stimulation and female masturbation.

Excerpt from Ways Women Orgasm (ISBN 978-0956-894700)


  1. I think you are confusing the emotional aspects of intercourse with a loving partner and the erotic experience of orgasm. Intercourse is simply an act of mating. No one can orgasm by having any part of their anatomy merely prodded. Men only last a couple of minutes anyway and women need longer than this for orgasm. Women promote the G-spot because they prefer to rely on men’s sex drive rather than act on their own motivation to enjoy orgasm through clitoral stimulation.The clitoris is the female sex organ.

  2. No confusion. My husband learned how to hold back when he was 37. His first wife didn’t demand that he become more responsible in his reactions. But I wouldn’t marry him if he continued with ‘hair trigger trouble’. So after a little Pleasure Balm, some excellent reading material (Extended Sexual Orgasm) and about 2 weeks of the Squeeze Technique, he relearned the habit of orgasm and can now hold back until his loving conscientious side has expressed itself adequately and I’ve had plenty of time to get mine. Also, the clitoris for most women is their sole organ for pleasure, but only because they cannot see and have not been instructed about the GSpot.

  3. Why do only heterosexual women need a man to have an erection before they can have an orgasm? Why are so few women confident to talk about orgasm and only sex therapists talk of the G-spot? Intercourse is a mating act initiated by the male in order to impregnate the female. I am not interested in trying to convince everyone but only in providing information to women who question why so many women fake orgasm and why so many heterosexual women (and couples) are unaware of the role of the clitoris.

  4. You’re pretty funny, you know that? Your message actually made me laugh out loud! Your limited sexual experience with a man who is a premature ejaculator is your cross to bear. And although you’re trying to come up with a reason why so many women fake orgasms: it’s because they want to appear sexually confident, easily pleased, and in that, desirable to their partner. Both male and female have the ability for double header orgasms. For the male it is a combination of penis and prostate, for the female it is the clitoris and G Spot. There is no doubt that the clitoris is the seat of physical pleasure for 95% of women. (Only 5% of women ever have a vaginal orgasm with any kind of regularity). So my suggestions to you are try doing about 300 Kegels a day to tone, tighten, and sensitize that vagina of yours, get a powerful, hard plastic, tilted head vibrator, place it 1 1/2 inches up on the front center wall of the vagina (on the area that feels slightly lumpier as opposed to the rest of the vaginal wall which is smooth) use lots of juicy lubricant, and discover something about yourself. Once you’ve had a vaginal orgasm, you’ll never look back. I wish you the best in your adventure.

  5. Ellen, Your superior tone says it all. You are not trying to help anyone but simply promote your own ego (and your own sex therapy business). The G-spot was only invented in 1981 – why was it discovered (and promoted) by the sex industry rather than by couples?

    Why do only women (and not men) need specialised knowledge and techniques in order to experience a normal and natural response? The pressure on men to delay their orgasm is implicit acknowledgement that they are naturally more responsive than women are.

    You talk about men’s control over their responsiveness as if it were akin to toilet training. What proof do you have that every man can exert this kind of control over his responsiveness? A 37 year old man might be able to delay orgasm but what about younger men?

    You suggest that only 5% of women experience the G-spot. Your derision for other women seems to imply that they are either stupid or ignorant. But what proof do you have that all women will be able to experience this amazing phenomenon? It seems strange to me that women have to read a whole book or pay a therapist to benefit from this technique.

    You suggest women use a vibrator – what did they do before vibrators were invented? This is clearly a ploy to make men feel inadequate. There is nothing sexy about a piece of plastic. It is the mind behind the penis that makes men much more exciting to interact with than a sex toy.