Ways Women Orgasm

Pleasuring a woman

An erec­tion might feel good but it is likely to be a disad­vantage if a man wants to devote time to pleas­uring a woman. After all, two minutes is a typical time given for a man to reach orgasm!

A man can learn tech­niques for slowing his arousal and increasing the time he takes to orgasm by investing private time during masturbation.

“Basic­ally, a man needs about two or three minutes of stim­u­la­tion to have an orgasm. It is gener­ally a very simple process, as easy as shaking up a can of beer and then letting it pop!

If a woman is to have an orgasm, she gener­ally needs about ten times that amount of time. She needs twenty to thirty minutes of fore­play and stim­u­la­tion of her genitals.” (p63 Mars & Venus in the Bedroom 1995)

There are various ways to spice up your sex life. Start your sex sessions with a quickie in the shower (get your partner to lather you and either masturbate or suck you off) and then retire to the bedroom to return the favour by investing some quality time in pleas­uring your woman. The worst thing that might happen is that you could come a second time but there’s no pressure!

Use of fingers and some back-up sex toys will ensure that you are never caught unpre­pared! If you invest in one accessory for your sex life (apart from condoms, of course, if required) then make it a profes­sional lubricant from any decent sex shop. Fore­play tech­niques are useful but remember that women’s sexual arousal relies on sexual fantasies.

“‘You’re a lousy lover!’ she said. ‘How can you tell that in two minutes?’ he asked.” (p116 Why men don’t listen 1999)

Sexual arousal changes over time

Penet­rative sex is the greatest turn-on to both sexes but relies entirely on the man’s sexual arousal. If a man offers it from the first moment of a sexual encounter (or five seconds later), a woman never has time to feel that it would be nice to have.

Women’s sexual arousal is less auto­matic and so subject to more misun­der­standing than men’s. But if a woman learns how to enjoy her own sexual arousal and orgasm, it is more likely that she will be willing to invest in her sex life with a partner over the longer-term. A man should focus on sensual pleas­uring rather than insisting that his woman orgasms from his efforts.

“ … by 50 as much as half the male popu­la­tion lacks the testosterone that would give them the kind of sex drive young men have early in the morning.” (Duncan Gould and Richard Petty of the Well-Man Clinic London, The Times 24th March 2000).

Sex can become more rewarding over time: just as men slow down and become slightly less preoc­cu­pied with their own need for orgasm, a woman’s clit­oris becomes slightly less sens­itive so that her partner’s touch is more effective.

“Men are frequently unaware that, though the source of a woman’s pleasure may be the size of a peanut, it is armed with all the sens­it­ivity of a six-inch penis. The degree of delicacy in approaching such a minute hand grenade can take years to get right. Until that time arrives, many women would rather read a good book.” (p19 The Bluffer’s Guide to Women 1998)

Even today people still refer to ‘vaginal orgasms’ as if women who exper­i­ence orgasm through vaginal inter­course have a different source for their orgasms. The FACTS are that the vagina has very few nerve endings but the clit­oris has many.

Excerpt from Jane’s book Ways Women Orgasm (2011)

6 comments for “Pleasuring a woman

  1. rizwan123
    December 17, 2014 at 9:57 am

    If you don,t get mind,can I ask some thing as I have some ques­tions in my mind about intercourse,yeah I am not married but soon and I love with my fiancee too much and wish my fiance could feel satis­fac­tion from me after marriage.
    I have some ques­tions about men and women as I heard from my friends.
    If you could give me permis­sion I will feel happy to get some advice from you?

  2. Jane
    December 17, 2014 at 11:12 am

    I think you are confusing sexual pleasure (enjoy­ment of orgasm) with repro­ductive sex.
    Men can enjoy sexual pleasure pretty much any way they like: inter­course, oral, masturb­a­tion etc.
    Female orgasm is much more obscure and many women never discover it. I have found it is only possible during masturb­a­tion alone.
    I have been living with my partner for nearly 30 years. We have always had an active sex life. I enjoy pleas­uring him and some­times I enjoy him pleas­uring me but I’m not always in the mood.
    Long-term rela­tion­ships involve a great deal of patience and toler­ance for each other’s differ­ences — not just in sex. It’s a long educa­tion process and very diffi­cult for men and women to accept that the opposite sex exper­i­ences sex so differently.

  3. rizwan123
    December 17, 2014 at 12:01 pm

    Thank you so much my friend for providing me these information.I hope it will help me in future.
    Actu­ally I have to get some inform­a­tion as my friends told me that they are disap­pionted with their inter­course because they said they discharged their semen very quickly but their wives didn’t discharge and felt unhappy.
    I have nothing any exper­i­ence about sex with a girl or masturb­ating as I am a good Muslim and totally virgin who belongs to a noble and respect­able family. But now I am afraid because some times I am discharged my sperm in dreams(whenever I saw any sexy dream) and I think I am not capable to control my timing of discharge. Apart from that I am afraid if I couldn’t satisfy my future wife then I will feel shame in my self and I don’t want this.
    Kindly guide me the good way to discharge a girl’s semen before than man’s discharge.Is this possible as you always write women discharge late or some times don,r discharge.
    I now this all about sex but for my more know­ledge also that will be helpful in my future.
    Which specific part a girl has that she feels much satis­fac­tion with a boy during inter­course.
    For your inform­a­tion I hope after 3 months I will be married,so please send me compre­hensive note about the satis­fac­tion for a girl and about comprom­ising inter­course. What and (How) should a man say to his wife for starting sex during first night of Marriage.

  4. Jane
    December 17, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    Women don’t discharge semen. Perhaps you mean orgasm?
    Men are much more sexual than women and reach orgasm much more easily. This is a fact of life.
    A woman is looking for affec­tion and gentle pleas­uring. The diffi­culty comes because men tend to be only inter­ested in sexual inter­ac­tion when they have an erec­tion.
    As soon as a man has his orgasm he loses interest in any further contact.
    Women want lots of kissing and caressing. You need to provide this after you have had your orgasm. Women are not strongly driven to have an orgasm as men are so they do not gener­ally miss it (unless they already masturbate by them­selves which very few women do).
    Women want to be loved, admired, carressed so make sure your ‘love-making’ is loving and gentle. Give her lots of compli­ments and be affec­tionate even when you are not having sex or about to. Other­wise she thinks you don’t love her but only want sex.
    The early days of any rela­tion­ship are usually the easiest so I’m sure you will be fine. The issues I am talking about relate to rela­tion­ships over ten years old.

  5. rizwan123
    December 17, 2014 at 3:27 pm

    Thank you sooooo much to provide me these precious inform­a­tion.
    But Jane I really don’t think only few women masturbate because our GOD has granted sexual emotions to every one(men,women) even I heard that women have 70% more sexual emotions than men by nature but with this GOD has granted much more patience to women and can control their emotion very easily.Am I right?
    I am feeling satis­fac­tion after getting these inform­a­tion by you.I have known that women need extreme love,care than sex.

  6. Jane
    December 17, 2014 at 5:45 pm

    Alfred Kinsey tallked to 12,000 men and women in the USA and concluded that on average men are up to six times more sexual than women.
    Essen­tially every man masturb­ates but he found that only around 20% of women masturbate regu­larly.
    I have certainly found that women are very reluctant to discuss sexual exper­i­ences of any kind but most appear to be shocked by sexual activity involving explicit genital stim­u­la­tion e.g. masturb­a­tion alone or with a partner.
    This is the aim of my site — to invite women to talk about their exper­i­ences. Very few are willing to make any comment at all but mostly they talk of their loving feel­ings for a partner.
    Men need to invest in the romantic (compan­ion­able and affec­tionate) aspects of the rela­tion­ship. Put effort into talking to your woman and take an interest in her concerns. Be affec­tionate by kissing and cuddling without always expecting to have a direct sexual payback.

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