Tag Archives: a sexual relationship

Women’s sexual desire

Women who live alone or do not have an active sex life with their partner some­times perceive them­selves to be sexu­ally needy because they start to doubt their ability to attract men.

Margaret (early fifties, chil­dren, rela­tion­ship 30 years) was confident that she was highly sexual and inter­ested in sex. However, her sexual rela­tion­ship with her partner had broken down and she admitted that she did not consider Continue reading

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Why sexual arousal is more elusive for women

Sexual desire is asso­ci­ated with ‘sex drive’. The male sex drive is a man’s biolo­gical drive to procreate by thrusting into a woman’s vagina until ejac­u­la­tion (usually co-incident with male orgasm).

Before the sexual revolu­tion a woman was seen to have a comple­mentary (not identical) sexual role to men in terms of accepting a man’s sexual advances. So a woman could be the object of a man’s sexual Continue reading

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Female masturbation is relatively uncommon

Carolyn, a rela­tion­ship coun­sellor in her fifties, told me she thought it unwise to posit­ively encourage female masturb­a­tion. She did not give her reasons.

“Many women think of masturb­a­tion as unnat­ural and disgusting and a complete waste of time, and don’t under­stand why anybody does it and are unsym­path­etic to the view that people might continue to do it even though they have sexual part­ners. The majority Continue reading

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A sexual relationship

Judy married in the late 1950s; well before the average woman was informed about what a sexual rela­tion­ship might involve. Judy’s aspir­a­tions were to provide a comfort­able home for her family and to enjoy being a wife and a mother.

When I talked to her, Judy was in her mid-sixties with grown up chil­dren and a rela­tion­ship of over 40 years. It was always doubtful whether she would under­stand Continue reading

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Men’s sexual fantasies

In pursuit of know­ledge and under­standing of sexual arousal, I went to a large news­agent in London’s Oxford Street to review the covers of fifty or more porno­graphic magazines lined up on the top shelf. Over 90% were directed towards hetero­sexual men. Most of the remainder was male homo­sexual porno­graphy. The few porno­graphic magazines for women were for lesbians.

Although porno­graphy is labelled ‘adult’ as if this is Continue reading

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Women’s sex drive to orgasm during sex

Becky explained via e-mail: “I had my first orgasm at 26 during masturb­a­tion — pretty late I know & since then no stop­ping me with the sex toys : ) . Plenty of my girl­friends have not though — and like you say, don’t seem too bothered about it which I can’t understand.”

Despite this evid­ence Becky was convinced that every woman must be inter­ested in orgasm. Many Continue reading

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Why is sexual pleasure still taboo?

If sex is so equal then why would anyone need to pay for sex? Pros­ti­tu­tion exists because men’s drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot always be satis­fied through relationships.

Most women inter­pret their sexual exper­i­ences in emotional terms as ‘making love’. Consequently, wives and girl­friends are often reluctant to offer more sexu­ally explicit sexual pleas­uring. Given the strong asso­ci­ations with male grat­i­fic­a­tion through the sex industry, sexual pleasure Continue reading

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