Tag Archives: orgasm during sex

Women’s sexual dysfunction

Although many sources refer to women’s ‘sexual dysfunc­tion’, it is rare to find a defin­i­tion of what is supposed to be sexu­ally ‘normal’ for women in the first place.

Sex involves both repro­duc­tion and sexual pleasure. So in repro­ductive terms, a man could be described as sexu­ally dysfunc­tional if he cannot impreg­nate a female (male orgasm required) and a woman if she cannot conceive (female orgasm not required) Continue reading

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How to use a vibrator to discover orgasm

Laura was educated and cultured but she also had a world­li­ness and the classy sex appeal that attracts the most ambi­tious men. In her early thirties, Laura told me that she had always been confident that she had orgasms during sex.

…in regard to sexual respons­ive­ness the female matures much later than the male.” (p126 Sexual beha­vior in the human female 1953)

When she was twenty-eight, a Continue reading

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Advice on female orgasm

Given the prac­tical nature of sex (book-learning only gets you so far!) we tend to assume that sex experts have personal exper­i­ence to support their ‘expertise’.

Such is our embar­rass­ment over sex that even when a person is advising others about sex we think it improper to ask them to account for their sexual exper­i­ences. Yet these exper­i­ences contribute towards their authority and support their qualifications.

Most Continue reading

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Taking the ego out of sex advice

Why do adults so often assume that they know everything about sex when most people have never even read a sex manual?

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but why do they have to flaunt their own sexual ego? Whatever our own personal views there is abso­lutely no need to express them in a way that belittles other people.

Despite their inex­per­i­ence, women can be supremely Continue reading

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Lack of orgasm is not a sexual dysfunction

It is often suggested that a lack of female orgasm during sex is a sign of sexual dysfunc­tion but the truth is that this is simply the way things are for women who hope for orgasm from their sexual rela­tion­ships. A woman is lucky to orgasm by any means.

The belief that women orgasm ‘natur­ally’ during sex is based on fantasy (erotica and porno­graphy) and contra­dicts the conclu­sions Continue reading

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Lack of arousal during sex

Intimacy with a lover causes me to feel affec­tionate but I am rarely conscious of any sexual arousal. Whether it’s sex with a partner, or masturb­a­tion for that matter, I am usually pretty much stone cold in arousal terms at the start.

I might conclude that I am frigid if it were not for the fact that I cannot visu­alise other women I meet approaching sex just Continue reading

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The sexual revolution set false hopes for female sexuality

Up until the 1950s society believed that women only had sex either for the purposes of procre­ation or to satisfy their partner. Alfred Kinsey’s revel­a­tion in 1953 that women also exper­i­ence orgasm caused a sensation.

His report was attacked for being ‘anti-family’ in finding high incid­ences of male infi­delity (40%) and homo­sexu­ality (37%) as well as female masturb­a­tion (62%), which others thought to be unrep­res­ent­ative. Never­the­less the media Continue reading

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Understanding women’s sexual arousal

Sex is asso­ci­ated with repro­duc­tion and with pleasure. Male orgasm is usually co-incident with ejac­u­la­tion which leads to repro­duc­tion but female orgasm is not required for a woman to become pregnant.

So it’s at least possible that women may exper­i­ence sexual pleasure (including sexual desire, sexual arousal and orgasm) differ­ently to men.

Men discover orgasm at a young age but women have no way of knowing what Continue reading

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Sex advice for women is often misleading

Natalie, a woman in her late twen­ties, had a close rela­tion­ship with her mother who was a doctor. I approached Natalie hoping that a mother with a medical back­ground might be more likely than others to have discussed her sexual exper­i­ences with a daughter.

When young women have diffi­culty reaching orgasm during sex, it can be diffi­cult for them to find answers. Natalie was relieved and grateful Continue reading

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Explanations for women’s sexual arousal

Some people assert confid­ently that women orgasm easily during sex. Yet, when I ask for details, the responses are frus­trat­ingly vague and defensive.

Many people assume that all women ‘natur­ally’ orgasm during sex. I have been advised to read a sex manual as if only extreme ignor­ance can explain a lack of orgasm. Altern­at­ively, with a sympath­etic expres­sion I am asked about my feel­ings for my partner Continue reading

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