If sex is so equal then why would anyone need to pay for sex? Pros­ti­tu­tion exists because men’s drive to enjoy sexual pleasure cannot always be satis­fied through relationships.

Most women inter­pret their sexual exper­i­ences in emotional terms as ‘making love’. Consequently, wives and girl­friends are often reluctant to offer more sexu­ally explicit sexual pleas­uring. Given the strong asso­ci­ations with male grat­i­fic­a­tion through the sex industry, sexual pleasure has over­tones of immoral beha­viour for women.

Since many women never exper­i­ence sexual pleasure, they are simply appalled by the exploit­ative nature of the sex industry. It is men’s enjoy­ment of a young woman’s body regard­less of any rela­tion­ship that causes offence. In the film ’50 first dates’ (2004) Adam Sandler’s Hawaiian friend explains that his wife’s mature figure no longer arouses him.

Some men only ever see sex as sex, but many others prefer sex with a woman they love. When men find that special woman, they may not get all slushy about love but they still choose to marry. Even the unisex term ‘lover’ indic­ates a link between love and sex.

As the film ‘Cruel Inten­tions’ (1999) points out, women can also exploit men through sex.

One day while I was waiting at the super­market checkout I listened to two young women, each with babe-in-arms, comparing the money they got from their ex-partners. Women often assume that a man will finance their dream of home and family without a thought for what a man might hope for in return.

Women are not the only ones exploited through sex

So women today can get alimony from a man they are no longer having sex with. Young men should campaign for a male pill but men (unlike women) are worried about how hormones might affect their sex drive. Certainly a man should put off having a family until he can be sure that a woman is willing to invest in a long-term sexual rela­tion­ship with him.

If govern­ments are concerned about teenage preg­nan­cies then they should provide inform­a­tion about the oblig­a­tions of family life. A woman will enjoy having a family much more with a partner than by facing the chal­lenges of raising chil­dren alone.

Advice based on the repro­ductive aspects of sex (family and rela­tion­ships) should include:

• Single parent­hood is tough — raising chil­dren with a caring partner is much easier;
• A woman needs to find a man who cares about her enough to be willing to support a family; and
• A man needs to find a partner who cares enough about him to invest in their sexual rela­tion­ship.

The problem with sex advice today is that girls are not given the facts about female sexu­ality to help them enjoy sexual pleasure. A man’s sex drive provides a woman with a means of keeping her man motiv­ated to support the family. If a couple can open up to each other and explore erot­i­cism together then they may discover more ways of pleas­uring than young people ever try.

Advice based on enjoying sexual pleasure (sexual arousal and orgasm) should include:

• Men gain much more from the imme­diate rewards of a sexual rela­tion­ship;
• Women need inform­a­tion about their sexu­ality if they are to enjoy erot­i­cism and orgasm; and
• Men need to accept that if they want a longer-term sex life then they need to invest in finding ways to pleasure their woman.

If a woman cares about her man, she will appre­ciate how important sex is to him. If you can survive the ups and downs, it is defin­itely worth­while exploring how to make sex more intimate and more adven­turous (that means men as well as women!).