‘Ways Women Orgasm’ is dedicated to women’s enjoyment of sexual pleasure and orgasm. The female sexuality forum discusses women’s orgasm techniques (clitoral stimulation & erotic turn-ons), helping women get more out of their sexual relationships with men, by promoting ideas for exploring more adventurous sex play.
|What real women say:
Reality versus fiction.
What real women say about sex and orgasm is very different to how women’s sexuality is portrayed in erotic fiction.
Orgasm does not ‘just happen’! A woman has to use erotic turn-ons (just as men do) to achieve the kind of sexual arousal that leads to orgasm through clitoral stimulation.
|The politics of sex:
Sex often defies logic! Unfortunately discussions of female orgasm are typically aimed at providing turn-ons for men rather than being realistic accounts of how women truly orgasm.
|Men & sex play:
For the sexually adventurous! How couples can bring variety to their sex play by taking the focus off intercourse so that other activities become a more routine part of their sex life.
The sexual responses of arousal and orgasm arise subconsiously. But sexual behaviours involve more conscious decisions: we choose how we will explore and enjoy our interaction with a lover.
Jane’s next book ‘Sexuality & Sexual Techniques’ will be published in January 2015!
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There are countless sources providing a porn-friendly, over-hyped view of women’s sexuality (where women are portrayed as if they respond sexually just like men — to the same physical stimulation, to the same psychological turn-ons, within the same timeframes and with the same frequency as men do). My work is for worldly adults who accept that men and women’s emotional and sexual priorities differ especially over time.
Any discussion of female orgasm is usually aimed at providing turn-ons for men rather than being realistic descriptions of how women truly orgasm. I am challenging modern beliefs about female orgasm, which I believe are wrong.
If women can easily masturbate themselves to orgasm during sex, why are so few men aware that the clitoris is the source of female orgasm? But also why would any woman ever ask about orgasm with a lover?
If women can easily orgasm through cunnilingus (oral sex), why do men complain that very few women will return the favour by offering fellatio? And again why would anyone ever ask about female orgasm with a lover?
Intercourse involves stimulation of the vagina whereas female masturbation focuses on the clitoris. If every woman masturbates, why do so few comment on the very different stimulation provided by the two?
We’d rather base our ‘sexual knowledge’ on fantasy and ignorance than the research findings. So it’s small wonder that both sexes end up feeling inadequate and (even worse!) blaming a partner for not making sex as exciting as we think it should be!
Men cannot accept that intercourse appeals to them because they are male. They think some magic wand can make women want intercourse as much as they do. This explains why the G-spot has been so universally promoted despite its total ineffectiveness.
I know we all want a man to think us the sexiest thing in the world but it is not helpful to have women’s sexuality defined in such a way that most women refuse to comment. Orgasm is not a relationship accessory! It is a response to erotic stimuli that occurs because we ourselves (not our lovers) want it.